It has been said that Confederate women were seen decorating the graves of their fallen heroes and continued on to do the same for those of the Union soldiers. This heralded the beginnings of Decoration Day or as we more commonly call it, Memorial Day. The lack of concern about whether or not the fallen were friend or foe truly speaks to the solemn beauty of the day. It is a time for us to remember those who bravely fought and died for the freedom that we enjoy today. And also, those from generations past who greatly influenced the people we have become.
For many years, while growing up, Mom and Dad would load us kids into the Oldsmobile and take off for the different cemeteries where our grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins or friends lay at rest. The trunk of the car would be filled with blossoms of various colors and types all meant to garnish the markers and to let others know that these people were cherished and remembered.
Little American flags waved brightly by the tombstones of soldiers from long ago wars and some were even marked by an occasional medal or remembrance of a particular event in history.
As a child, I must admit, it was not always something that I enjoyed. In fact, sometimes it seemed really like a waste of time and money to go traipsing all over the country going from plot to plot when I would have been much happier playing outside or reading a good book. But, still we went. And now, I am glad that I did because it taught me lessons about life and death and remembering, something that many people don’t do enough of.
While decorating the graves of relatives and friends who have passed away does not carry with it that same significance as decorating the graves of soldiers it does help to bring to mind the brevity of life. How often we take for granted the presence of a loved one only to find them taken from us by the cruelty of death. The small gesture of remembrance is only a token of what could or should be done during the lifetime of those that are near and dear to our hearts.
It has been nearly twenty years since my father passed away. In recent days memories of my childhood have resurfaced to remind me once again of the principles he lived by and the man of integrity that he was. It has been a time of remembering what was and seeking to understand what is. His influence continues to live on in the lives of his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Remembering that propels me to a greater desire to live the legacy those generations before me lived.
The author of the book of Hebrews wrote a verse that has often come to mind when I think about my Dad and others who have gone on before me. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” I like to think about my Dad being in that cloud of witnesses, cheering me on, encouraging me when the going gets tough or sometimes even chiding me as he used to when I was a child.
Remembering him as he was is also a lesson to me of many attributes of godliness that I would like to believe is becoming a part of my heritage as well. Integrity, humility and a contrite spirit were all marks of my father. One of the greatest gifts that he gave to our family was a dedication to walk in truth and to teach us about our need of a Savior and the love of God.
Heritage and remembering is so much a part of the essence of Memorial Day. While we watch the parades and listen to rousing speeches of patriotism and honor it would be a good time to take stock of what is going on within our hearts and lives. Are we passing on to our children the same values and virtues of our forefathers or have we so lost our way that we cannot even remember the good of the past? Do we take time to sit down with our children or their children and remind them of the goodness of God? Or have we become so wrapped up in our own way that we have lost the reverence for the One who holds the earth in place?
This is a time to remember. This is a time to put aside the laissez-faire attitude that seems to permeate our country today. The sacrifices, the honor, the desire to put others ahead of self are attributes that were a part of the generations past. Let us put off the foolish behaviors of greed, deceit and selfishness as we honor those who have gone on before.
Load up the cars with your children and the flowers. Decorate the markers of those who have left your earthly life. Remember them for the lives that they lived and the sacrifices they made. Thank God for their lives and then dedicate yourself to live on in a manner that would bring a smile to their lips and a song of praise to their hearts.
--Update
Since first writing this blog post in 2009 many others who I loved and cared for have passed away. My wonderful mom, my oldest sister, Judy and my dear cousin, Wendy along with many others. This Memorial Day I will be thinking of these three women and what they brought to my life. Each of them in their own unique way brought the light of Christ to this lost and dying world. I am thankful for each one and their impact on my life.
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