Remembrance Revisted

 It has been said that Confederate women were seen decorating the graves of their fallen heroes and continued on to do the same for those of the Union soldiers. This heralded the beginnings of Decoration Day or as we more commonly call it, Memorial Day. The lack of concern about whether or not the fallen were friend or foe truly speaks to the solemn beauty of the day. It is a time for us to remember those who bravely fought and died for the freedom that we enjoy today. And also, those from generations past who greatly influenced the people we have become.

For many years, while growing up, Mom and Dad would load us kids into the Oldsmobile and take off for the different cemeteries where our grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins or friends lay at rest. The trunk of the car would be filled with blossoms of various colors and types all meant to garnish the markers and to let others know that these people were cherished and remembered.

Little American flags waved brightly by the tombstones of soldiers from long ago wars and some were even marked by an occasional medal or remembrance of a particular event in history.

As a child, I must admit, it was not always something that I enjoyed. In fact, sometimes it seemed really like a waste of time and money to go traipsing all over the country going from plot to plot when I would have been much happier playing outside or reading a good book. But, still we went. And now, I am glad that I did because it taught me lessons about life and death and remembering, something that many people don’t do enough of.

While decorating the graves of relatives and friends who have passed away does not carry with it that same significance as decorating the graves of soldiers it does help to bring to mind the brevity of life. How often we take for granted the presence of a loved one only to find them taken from us by the cruelty of death. The small gesture of remembrance is only a token of what could or should be done during the lifetime of those that are near and dear to our hearts.

It has been nearly twenty years since my father passed away. In recent days memories of my childhood have resurfaced to remind me once again of the principles he lived by and the man of integrity that he was. It has been a time of remembering what was and seeking to understand what is. His influence continues to live on in the lives of his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Remembering that propels me to a greater desire to live the legacy those generations before me lived.

The author of the book of Hebrews wrote a verse that has often come to mind when I think about my Dad and others who have gone on before me. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” I like to think about my Dad being in that cloud of witnesses, cheering me on, encouraging me when the going gets tough or sometimes even chiding me as he used to when I was a child.

Remembering him as he was is also a lesson to me of many attributes of godliness that I would like to believe is becoming a part of my heritage as well. Integrity, humility and a contrite spirit were all marks of my father. One of the greatest gifts that he gave to our family was a dedication to walk in truth and to teach us about our need of a Savior and the love of God.

Heritage and remembering is so much a part of the essence of Memorial Day. While we watch the parades and listen to rousing speeches of patriotism and honor it would be a good time to take stock of what is going on within our hearts and lives. Are we passing on to our children the same values and virtues of our forefathers or have we so lost our way that we cannot even remember the good of the past? Do we take time to sit down with our children or their children and remind them of the goodness of God? Or have we become so wrapped up in our own way that we have lost the reverence for the One who holds the earth in place?

This is a time to remember. This is a time to put aside the laissez-faire attitude that seems to permeate our country today. The sacrifices, the honor, the desire to put others ahead of self are attributes that were a part of the generations past. Let us put off the foolish behaviors of greed, deceit and selfishness as we honor those who have gone on before.

Load up the cars with your children and the flowers. Decorate the markers of those who have left your earthly life. Remember them for the lives that they lived and the sacrifices they made. Thank God for their lives and then dedicate yourself to live on in a manner that would bring a smile to their lips and a song of praise to their hearts.

--Update

Since first writing this blog post in 2009 many others who I loved and cared for have passed away.  My wonderful mom, my oldest sister, Judy and my dear cousin, Wendy along with many others.  This Memorial Day I will be thinking of these three women and what they brought to my life.  Each of them in their own unique way brought the light of Christ to this lost and dying world.  I am thankful for each one and their impact on my life.  

Musings of a Little Sister

Lots of thoughts go through your mind when you get the call that someone you have known your entire life has passed away.  In the past two plus weeks I have done a lot of musing about my sister, Judy since I got the news.

First of all, I recognize that the text message prayers, the long chats about my Bible study plans, the questions about the well-being of my kids and grandkids and just the general sister chit chat ceased.  I find myself rereading last messages.  The one in particular where she laughingly said she needed to "hop to it" to get her to do list done before she moved to her new home makes me smile and cry all at once.  That was just days before things turned for the worse.  

Second, I think about all of the ways she prayed for me.  She cared so deeply for the needs of each member of my family and the friends that I had shared with her.  I can remember when my friend, Beverly was going through her leg amputation - Judy called me frequently for updates so that she would know how best to pray.  Or during COVID when she joined in the livestream for our church (as well as her own) and she would mention how she prayed for our pastors even though she never knew them. My kids, Geoff and Claire as well as Dave's kids and our grandkids were always in Judy's prayers.  She wanted more than anything to know that they had put their faith and trust in Jesus.  Because to Judy our eternal destination was of the upmost concern.  I miss not being able to share those concerns with her because I knew she was genuine when she said she was praying.

Finally, I remember her last real words to me a week or so before she died.  She asked me what I was teaching in my Bible study this fall.  I told her I was teaching I Peter.  Her words to me come to my mind each time I open my Bible and prepare for my next meeting.  She said "Study hard."  Always the student.  Always the teacher.  

Judy was special.  There is no other real word to describe her.  Her heart for others and her love for Jesus challenge me.  She lived what she believed.  She cared more for others than she did for herself.  I pray that I can be more like her because she was so much like Jesus.  I miss you already big sister.  Enjoy what you have earned dear one!  Well done good and faithful servant!

Pilot Me

 It seems that I have been in a grand funk for quite awhile.  Lately I have been struggling with where I am in life, what I need to be doing with the rest of my days, how I can be an encouragement to others when I feel discouraged myself and on and on it goes.  

Sure, I have a lot to be grateful for.  And I am.  I am grateful for my husband who puts up with all of my emotional ups and downs with great grace.  I am thankful for my family that even though I have disappointed them time and time again they still like to hang out with me.  I am thankful for my church and my brothers and sisters in Christ who challenge me to be better.  And I most of all am thankful for my Savior Who continues to offer to pilot me through all of life's ebbs and flows.

I came across this mirror with the inscription on it "Jesus Savior, Pilot Me" while I was cleaning out a drawer in our spare room.  It was my mom's.  I can even remember where she had it.  It was on the bookshelf that was above her desk in the den.  It was there that she poured over the finances of our little family.  It was there where she often wondered where the money was going to come from to pay the bills on the little farm dad wanted to have.  It was there that she wrote out checks for college tuition, cars, insurance and first and foremost the tithe.  It was there where she wept and prayed over the many hurts of her family and friends. It was there where I am sure she prayed, "Jesus Savior, Pilot Me."  And I believe He did!

I have been praying a lot lately that God would help me to learn how to truly once and for all forgive myself for the things that I have done over the course of life that brought pain to many.  I have been praying over Psalm 19:12-13 "How can I know all the sins lurking in my  heart?  Cleanse me from these hidden faults.  Keep your servant from deliberate sins! Don't let them control me.  Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin."  In other words - "Jesus Savior, Pilot Me!"  I know that by His grace I have been forgiven - I just need to claim that victory for myself.  

It is not by chance I came across this today.  I look at it as an answer to the prayer I have been praying.  In the words of Carrie Underwood "Jesus, Take the Wheel!"  

Beanie

 

Today on the day before Mother's Day I am thinking about "Beanie." I never really knew the origin of the nickname that my mom had but her two brothers and her five sisters all called her that so I am pretty sure she was dubbed that when she lived "down home." 

When I look at this picture of my mom and my uncle Glenn it makes me smile. This would have been before she and my dad were married so I am thinking she was 18 or so.  It was World War II timeframe. 

Mom always said she felt gangly as a teenager. But I think she was beautiful. Her smile here is the same smile she had when she was 89. It was the smile she gave when she heard us come in the back door when we came home to the Valley.  It was the smile she gave when she saw her grandchildren and great grandchildren. It was the smile she gave when she welcomed family and friends into our family home. Her smile came straight from a happy and contented heart.

I miss Beanie. I miss being able to call her on the phone and hear her voice. I miss being able to pour out my heart about the things that matter and some things that don't and have her understand. I miss her telling me to "keep on keeping on" when the way gets wearying. I miss her prayers. She prayed for us all - every day and often many times during the day. I miss that when I needed prodding that she was willing to do it. 

I think about Mother's Day and how this is now my 10th one without her. I wish I had told her more often how much she meant to me. I wish I would have gone home more and spent time with her while I could. I wish I would have done more to have made her life easier. But I cannot go back. I can only remind myself how blessed I was to have this woman as my mom. And I pray that a little bit of "Beanie" comes through to her youngest child. Maybe in my smile. I love you Mom!

On Saying Goodbye

 Today we said our goodbye's to Flora.  It was a lovely service filled with all of the truth and humor that made up her life. As I looked around at the many people that were there to honor her life I reflected a bit more on just what Flora meant to me.

There was a time in the service that they asked for people to speak up about their remembrances. I was not comfortable to do that for many reasons but I certainly had a lot I could have shared.

About 25 years ago I got to know Flora.  Really even before I became such close friends with her daughter, Beverly. Flora worked with me during a time in my life when I was really struggling.  She would often see me crying or just sad and she would take the time to  listen.  Often times she would say a few words of encouragement but sometimes it would be words that were necessary to help me get back to where I needed to be. There was never a word of condemnation.  She just knew the right thing to say at the right time.  And she always committed to pray for me. I will always cherish that about her.  And I want to be that kind of friend to others. 

Flora wrote a book that she just got printed and bound a couple of months ago.  It is a chronicle of her life stories.  What a treasure.  She wrote of the highs and lows of her life and most of all she wrote about her love for her Savior.  I was honored that she gave me one and that she wrote an inscription just for me in its cover. As I think about her doing this it has challenged me to get busy and write down the stories of my life.  Maybe that will be the gift that she gave to me - the challenge - the inspiration to get busy doing what I have always wanted to do.

At the end of her book she concluded with a passage from Psalm 73.  I share it now because it was her testimony.  She truly knew she was held by our Father. 

"Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish, you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.

But for me it is good to be near God. I have made the Lord God my refuge."

You are now with our Savior, dear Flora.  You likely never knew just how much you meant to me. It was more than just apple dumplings we made together.  You wrapped my broken heart at a time when few knew it was damaged. The twinkle in your eye and the smile you always showed me - even when you were in such discomfort will always be the image I will see when I think of you.  You are now with your loved ones who have gone on before you.  Maybe if you could - would you look up my folks?  I am sure my mom would love to meet you.  You both had so much in common.  Most of all - that you both loved me!

Stay on the Path

Proverbs 4:26-27 "Watch the path of your feet and all your ways will be established. Do not turn to the right or to the left; turn your foot from evil."

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the course my life has taken.  I guess it is that time of year again when I start reflecting on where I have been, where I am and where I hope to be.  And so when I was reading Proverbs the other day these verses really hit home. 

As I thought about my life I realized just how often I took my eyes off the path.  I looked and some times meandered to the right or to the left. Each and every time that wandering took me off the path that God had set before me.  There were dangers confronted, evils encountered, sadness generated - all because I took my eye off the path.  

It's interesting how the things off to the side of the path look so enticing when you are still on the path.  The hidden secrets only manifest themselves when you take that first step off the intended way.  Often times it became a long process to find my way back to the path once again. 

At times the path has seemed monotonous - just putting one foot in front of the other day in and day out. The end of the path is never in sight and so I have no idea how long it is or whether or not I will encounter a lot of hills or unexpected construction.  That has made me at times also look for shortcuts or an easier path to walk on. Yet again when I chose to do this I found myself missing out on the best path - the one intended for me.

Proverbs talks so much about wisdom.  And as I think about these verses I pray that I will be better in the days ahead to stay on the path, putting aside any temptation to veer off its course.  This is the way of safety, this is the way of joy, this is the way of walking in step with my Savior.  He is there in each step. He is there to guide me if only I ask and if only I obey. 

Running the Gun Lap

 

This past week I heard an interview by author Robert Wolgemuth about his latest book entitled “Gun Lap.”  Having never been a runner I really did not understand the significance of this term until I looked it up.  When I looked it up in the dictionary this is what I learned:  “the final lap of a race in track signaled by the firing of a gun as the leader begins the lap.” 

Life is a race and none of us know what lap of the race we are on.  But the apostle Paul in II Timothy 4:7-8 said these very familiar words:  ^“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”

So I found myself wondering – have I been fighting the good fight?  Have I kept the faith, even when things did not turn out the way that I wanted?  Am I going to finish the race with integrity and honor my Father with the days I have?  Psalm 90: 12 says “Teach us to number our days aright, so that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”  Am I gaining a heart of wisdom?  Am I counting each day as the precious gift that it is?

For the past 6 weeks I have led a ladies Bible study at my church.  The topic was "Trustworthy - Overcoming our Greatest Struggles to Trust God." We have been following the lives of several of the kings from the OT.  And one stark truth came out in nearly all of them.  They started out strong but they did not finish strong.  What happened?  In most cases they took their eyes off of God and put their eyes on people, possessions and positions.  It was very sad to read this and also quite convicting.

I looked at each of these areas in my own life.  Each of us have opportunities to influence one another to love and good works in the days ahead.  I want to find ways to be an encouragement to others and to share the faithfulness of God to those who are struggling.  But I do not want to run my gun lap comparing where I am with others who are also in the race. 

Possessions have never really been a thing for me.  I grew up in fairly humble means and feel that I have been greatly blessed with what I have. I do not take lightly though that everything that I have - from my home to my means of earning a living are a gift from God. Any of it could be taken from me in a heartbeat. And then where is my confidence?  Am I running a gun lap to keep up with my neighbors or am I willing to share all that I have with those who are in need? 

And lastly position.  Do I take unmerited pride in the things that I have accomplished?  Or do I look at it truly as another way that my trustworthy God has blessed me?  I recently read where in 100 years few, if any will remember your name.  We are all replaceable. So while working hard and giving my best to those endeavors I am a part of is important - in my gun lap it is not the most important thing.

I pray each morning when I wake up I will see the day for exactly what it is – an opportunity!  What I do with that opportunity is pretty much up to me.  I can choose to make it a day that is all about God or I can make it a day that is all about me.  If my objective is to truly do what Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-38  “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” then the answer is clear. My gun lap needs to be focused on faithful love and obedience to God and truly loving my neighbor as myself. 

Time is the one commodity that cannot be replenished. Now is the time to run a strong gun lap!

A Passing

People come and go in our lives. They touch us in ways that are sometimes quite profound. The going is where our hearts are forever changed.

Over the past two months three people who were a part of my life in some way have passed away. Most recently today.

Nothing quite prepares you for the finality. You recognize that you will lose people during the course of your life. But, the reality of the call, the text, the email notifying you leaves you raw.

All of a sudden there is a hole, a rush of questions that may have no answers, a flood of memories of how that person impacted your life. You feel almost like your view of life has now changed. And it has. Those of us left behind try and find our way on this uncharted territory.

I find myself wondering why God in His Sovereignty chooses to take one who was so vibrant, so caring and so full of life. I know I will not have the answers to this but it does make me wrestle with it. But, then I stop to think about how God sent His only Son to die for me. For us. He willingly did this that eternal life can be given to those who believe. He was vibrant, He was caring and He was so full of life. And for three days He lay in the grave. And then the resurrection! New Life! And each of these three wonderful women are experiencing new life! No more pain, no more treatments, no more sorrow.  And for those of us left behind we have this hope:

I Thessalonians 4:13-14 "And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died."

Knock the Stuffing Out

 

At least 30 years ago my dear sister, Connie made me this patchwork quilt.  To say it has seen some wear is an understatement.  It has moved from house to house, state to state, even marriage to marriage with me.  Faithful old quilt.  Soft, worn and warm are its folds.

As the years have passed the quilt has had some of its stuffing knocked out of it.  The patches wore away and most recently my dog, Mallie decided she needed to help with the process.  I keep thinking I should patch it up.  Or maybe I should send it up to Connie and have her do it as she is much more likely to actually get it done.

Then I stop and think about how this quilt is such a picture of my life.  There are patches in this quilt that are still intact and some that are frayed and the stuffing coming out.  The patches that are still good represent those relationships in my life that I still have and those that are tattered and worn represent those relationships that I have lost either by intention or by death.

Recently I have experienced the loss of two people who had significance in my life.  One a young woman the age of my children and the other a friend that I have had for over 35 years. Both of these losses have profoundly impacted me. You could say the loss has knocked the stuffing out of me. I have wept more tears since Christmas than I have cried since my mom passed away nearly 10 years ago.

I keep thinking I should patch up the wounds these losses have dealt me but then I recognize that the loss has drawn me to examine what really matters in life. I have always been someone who needed to be busy, to find fulfillment in my work or to be looking for the next best thing. But I realize right now where I am and the life God has given me is where I need to focus. The patches that are surrounding me right now are tightly stitched and I feel the need to protect that. And the patches where the stuffing has been exposed remind me of where I have been and who I have known.  All a part of the life I have been granted.  Not a day to waste.

So while I do feel like the stuffing has been knocked out of me - I am thankful.  Actually blessed.  And the soft, worn and warm patches of my life will continue to envelope me until the day God calls me home.

Empty Things

 

What do these three things have in common?  They are all treasure boxes of differing types.  The smallest one on the left was the box that held my wedding band, pretty important in the big scheme of things.  The middle one holds a collection of different coins, some from here in the US and some from my various travels to other countries.  Not quite as valuable as the ring box but still valuable none-the-less.  And finally the one on the right is a jewelry box that was my mom's.  I have had it for years and in it is a collection of many memories of my life that I hold dear.  Monetarily not worth much but emotionally very valuable.  

All of these boxes are treasure boxes.  But, they hold nothing of real, eternal value.  They are all "things" of this life.  And someday they will be items to be tossed away or cashed in or perhaps held onto by my kids.  Hard to say.  

This morning as I was reading my Bible I came across a passage in I Samuel that I don't think I ever really noticed before.  Samuel is speaking to the children of Israel following their decision to make Saul their first king.  I Samuel 12: 20-22 "And Samuel said to the people, 'Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil.  Yet do not turn aside from following the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart. And do not turn aside after empty things that cannot profit or deliver, for they are empty. For the Lord will not forsake his people, for his great name's sake, because it has pleased the Lord to make you a people for himself."  The people of Israel had put their faith into an earthly king, an empty thing that could neither profit or deliver them.

Jesus also spoke about "treasure boxes."  Matthew 6:19-21 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

So, I thought a lot about this today as I was going through my day.  Where are my treasures?  Are they empty things or are they eternal things?  What do I invest my time in the most?  Empty things or eternal things?  Boy, that was a really hard conversation to have with myself.  The conclusion that I came to is that I have spent far too long worrying about earthly treasure boxes such as relationships, career, and possessions and not enough time on Kingdom things like worshiping God with all my heart, soul and spirit and loving my neighbor as I love myself.  

Going forward I want to be more Kingdom minded and less empty things minded.  Because at the end of my life what really matters is what I have done for Christ and His Kingdom.  

Honor Your Father and Mother

 

This afternoon while I was out for my walk I was listening to a podcast as I typically do.  This particular one really made me stop and think of things in a whole different way.  It made me think of Mom and Dad and our family as well as other families and their situations.

This particular pastor was talking about Jesus on the cross and how the very last human act that He did was to provide for his widowed mother.  Even amidst all of His pain and utter weariness, Jesus loved His mother and made sure that she was cared for.  I honestly had never really thought about it.  I knew that He had pointed her to John and John to her but I never thought about how even in His most desperate moment His thoughts were toward the one who gave Him life.  He showed us how we are to love and to honor.

In Exodus 20:12 it says "Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." I think sometimes it is easy to just dismiss what this means.  I know in our family that we were really blessed with wonderful, caring parents that sacrificed a lot for each one of us.  And yet there were times where I know I was not always honoring to them.  In fact, there were times where my behavior was downright disrespectful.  Yet, they loved me.

I also know that there are situations where some parents have not seemed to be worthy of being honored.  Perhaps they were really bad people.  How then are the children to honor them?  This is a hard question.  Maybe, just considering the fact that they gave you life would be enough.  I don't know.  I just know that we as Christians are commanded to do this.  There is no wiggle room here.  

As a parent myself, I wonder how my children feel about me?  I certainly have not always been the best parent.  I let them down in some pretty big ways over the years.  And while I have tried to make up for that in recent times, I am sure the hurt that was felt goes pretty deep.  I pray that God gives me time to truly show them the love that they deserved. 

Each one of us can reflect back on our parents whether living or dead and think of things that we could have done better.  I know I can.  I know that I should have taken more time to spend with them.  I should have been more patient with them when their health issues made them a little bit edgy. I should have listened more and talked less.  I should have found ways to ease their minds when life got harder for them.  I cannot change what was.  But, I can look at those folks around me that I can pour myself into now.  I can find more time to spend with my family and friends.  I can be patient with those who are not feeling healthy.  I can listen more and talk less.  And I can find ways to ease the minds of those who are finding life difficult.

Maybe, just maybe if I do that, I truly will honor Mom and Dad.  And maybe, just maybe, I will be loving a little bit more like Jesus.  

Straight Paths and Storms

 

Today as I walked Mallie down the country lane in Alabama I thought about how straight the path was and how my line of sight went for quite a distance. I could see the oncoming cars, bike riders, animals, whatever came. The road was straight and easy. No elevation to speak of so very little effort was involved.  I could have walked for miles.

But then, just off to my right I saw this. One of the spots where Hurricane Zeta touched down last fall. The destruction of that storm is still being felt by many of the locals here. And the cleanup will take lots of time and resources.

So like life it seems. We walk along unhurried days with a clean line of sight of what our future holds. We plan, we organize, we hope. We avoid the dangers that hinder our walk. And for a season the walk is easy and the path is straight.

Then, along comes the unexpected. The loss of a loved one, an elderly parent struggling with unanticipated illness and change, a diagnosis, a relational breakup, the loss of a job. And all of a sudden we feel the destruction, the sense of chaos, the pain.

Where do we go? What resources can we draw from in these moments or seasons of storms? First of all, we must turn to the only One who knows the way out of the storm. He who bore our sorrows and accepted our shame is the One who can help us navigate life’s storms. Jesus bore all our grief and carried all our sorrows (Isaiah 53:4). Why did He do this? For the joy set before Him He endured the cross (Hebrews 12:2). The joy He had of providing our pathway through the destruction of our sin was what drove Him to the cross. And so even when we see only destruction around us we can firmly grab hold of our dear Savior who will lead us through.

We also can turn to family and friends to help us walk through our times of storms. Right now I have family and friends who have lost loved ones, have received news that rocked their world, or are struggling with broken relationships that need healing. I want to be a person who points them to Jesus. And I want to be faithful to support, pray and love each one through their season of storm. Right now my path is straight and easy. For this I am grateful. But I have had my seasons of storms and they will come again. And I will be ever grateful for those who walk the path with me. 

Be All There

 

There is a song written by Jeremy Camp that really has spoken to my heart and challenged my thinking. It is called, “Keep Me in the Moment.”  One particular line struck me hard - “Help me live with my eyes wide open cause I don’t wanna miss what You have for me.” 

For those who have known me for many years you have likely heard me speak about how I wish I could live anywhere else but Camp Hill. It’s not that it isn’t lovely here, because it is. It is more that I just never felt I fit into the area. So I whined and I complained and I nagged about moving. But here I am.

Lately though as I have been thinking more and more about being “all there” wherever God has me I am finding myself more at peace and more settled with being here and not yearning for something more or something different. Paul wrote in the book of Philippians about contentment. In Philippians 4:11 he wrote “ Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am in to be content.”

There is just so much to be thankful for in whatever our present circumstances might be. But we have to be all there in order to see it, to experience it and to be joyful in it. Where was Paul when he wrote this? He was in prison, in a cold lonely cell. But he knew that by being thankful and recognizing his strength came from the Lord he could be content.

I don’t want to waste another day yearning for something else. I want to live with my eyes wide open to the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. And for me, right now, that is Camp Hill, PA.

Why Am I Here?

 

Just a few days ago we flipped the calendar from 2020 to 2021. With the stroke of the clock we left behind a year that was to say the least, challenging. And now yawning out in front of us are over 360 days where we can write the script of this new year. 

I always find myself becoming very introspective during these  initial days of the new year. And I tend to be introspective just in general. I weigh out just how I have done with commitments to myself, to others and to God and find myself sorely lacking on all accounts. Oh yes, I have a few things I am pleased about but on the whole I just don’t feel like I measure up.

Then I wonder - what in the world am I here for? I mean, there is nothing really special about me. Then I stop. I stop comparing myself to others who are prettier, younger, smarter, more organized and more godly and I ponder what does God say about why I am here.

In Ephesians 1:3-10 I found some great truths about what God says. He says I am chosen, even before the foundation of the world! Wow! In love He adopted me. An adopted child is a chosen child! And this chosen child has been redeemed by His blood. My sins (which are many) are forgiven by His grace which He lavished on me! And He has promised to make known to me the mystery of His will. How exciting is all of this!

What in the world am I here for? I am here to be loved by God and to love Him in return. How do I manifest that love? I do it by obedience to what His Word says and I do it by showing love to others. I pray that as this new year presents me opportunities to reach out, to encourage, to lift others up that I will be found faithful. And I pray that I will demonstrate love to my Father that shows just how grateful I am that He chose me!

Happy New Year!

I Wonder as I Wander

 

Over the past couple of weeks I have heard an old Christmas carol that rarely gets sung any more.  And today while I was out walking I heard the carillon from one of our town's churches ring out the melody to "I Wonder as I Wander". Seemed like God was prompting me to think about the words.  

As I meandered my way home I left a trail of tracks in the freshly fallen snow. Those tracks soon to be a passing memory of the time I walked this road, hidden by the continually falling snow. This is a picture of our lives. We leave a trail for those who follow behind us but it is soon erased by the passage of time. In the meanwhile, what memory do we leave those who follow us?  Are we pointing them to Christ by our actions, do we show the light that we have within us? Or are we absorbed by the darkness that we live in?

It has been very easy this year to fall prey to the discouragement of the health situation, political chaos, and personal issues that continue to beat us all down. But then I stop in the quietness of the day and think about the real meaning of Christmas and it gives me heart to press on.  We can find our comfort in the fact that Jesus came to bring the light out of the darkness.  He came to save ornery people like you and like I.  And I wonder as I wander what paths He would have me take in the days that I have to live. I want to lead others to the peace that comes from knowing that Emmanuel is with us.  Always with us. 

He came, surrendering His Kingly throne to be born in a humble stable.  Why?  Because He loves us!  And so I wonder as I wander how to love Him more deeply, more earnestly.

"I wonder as I wander, out under the sky
How Jesus the Savior, did come for to die
For poor orn'ry people like you and like I
I wonder as I wander, out under the sky

When Mary birthed Jesus, t'was in a cow stall
With wise men and farmers and shepherds and all
And high from God's heaven a starlight did fall
And the promise of ages, it then did recall

If Jesus had wanted for any wee thing
A star in the sky or a bird on the wing

Or all of gods angels in heaven to sing

He surely could've had it, 'cause he was the king"

Raise My Ebenezer

I Samuel 7:12 "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen, and called its name "Ebenezer", saying, "Thus far the Lord has helped us."

Nearly 20 years ago during one of the darkest periods of my life I went for a walk in the woods with a very dear friend.  We had been discussing the faithfulness of God and how even when we are faithless - He is always faithful.  We came across a couple of really nice flat stones and we took them back to her camp and we wrote "Ebenezer" on each one.

This rock has traveled from house to house with me ever since.  It was only just this past week when we were studying the life of Samuel that I was reminded of this rock.  It seemed so appropriate to go and find it and write about it.

There is an old hymn called "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" that has been one of my favorites over the years.  In the second stanza it says:

"Here I raise my Ebenezer

Here there by Thy great help I've come

And I hope, by Thy good pleasure

Safely to arrive at home

Jesus sought me when a stranger

Wandering from the fold of God

He, to rescue me from danger 

Interposed His precious blood"

Samuel placed this rock as a stone of remembrance of all the ways that God had helped the people of Israel during all their wanderings.  And how good it is for me to also remember that.  During times of my wanderings God showed Himself faithful.  There were parents, family and friends that prayed for me and continued to reach out to me even when my actions were disappointing to them.  Why?  Because they felt the prompting in their hearts by my faithful Father to hold me close.  And over time the dark clouds parted and I could once again see the light of His love and come back to what I knew all along was the source of my joy and peace. He, rescued me from danger.

And even now when we find ourselves in this dark time in our country we should raise our Ebenezer and remember all the ways that God has proven Himself faithful to us.  If it were not for His grace we would be completely undone.  And He continues to be there - waiting for us to humble ourselves and pray and ask Him for His help and guidance as we navigate the troubled waters.  No man or woman can solve the heavy problems that face us now.  Only our God, the giver and sustainer of life holds all the answers.  We need not fear, we need not despair, we need only to trust - knowing this "Thus far the Lord has helped us."

We Don't Have to Join in the Chaos

"But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world." I John 4:4

Some days I just don't feel like a winner.  I feel beaten up and weary by the continual pummeling of the media all around me. Someone says this, someone says that.  Who knows what is right. We try and base our decisions on facts - but what are the facts? Who do we trust?

Many have chosen to "unplug" from the deluge of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Tiktok posts.  And to be truthful, I have been tempted to do the same.  But, I would miss all the good that I glean from them I guess. In all of it one thing I have determined is - I don't have to join in the chaos.

Ultimately, what we are seeing pushed out as facts often are nothing more than someone else's opinion.  Or, it is someone interpreting what someone else said or wrote. It is like the old game of gossip.  Just line up 10 people in a row sometime and whisper a sentence in their ear and see if it is anywhere close to what you said by the time it reaches the end of the line! People can spin anything to make statements say what they want it to say. And we have to be wise enough to determine its validity.

When I read these things I have to control the urge to put my thoughts out there.  Then I think "I don't have to join in the chaos."  My opinion is exactly that - my opinion. And honestly, who cares? The people who know my heart would understand.  They would understand that my intent is never to bring harm but to foster kindness.  But those who don't know me might misinterpret my intentions.  And so I remain quiet.

I truly believe that the evil we are seeing in this period of our history is nothing more than the plotting of the evil one who seeks to destroy.  His plot has been going on since the beginning of time when he sought to be equal with God.  Yet, I know that he will never have the victory.  Jesus came to overcome and He will be the ultimate victor!  I trust in Him and I do not have to put my trust in men or women who may or may not have my best in mind.  I also do not need to add to any of the chaos that Satan has put out on the world stage for all to see. I can simply be obedient to what I know God has called me to be.  Be kind, be loving, be patient, be generous, be peaceful, be good, be faithful, be gentle, be self-controlled.  If I focus on that - there is little time to be involved in the chaos!

Going Through a System Reset

Over the past several weeks our church has been working through a sermon series called "Christ likeness in Crisis."  Each week one of our pastors would work through one or more of the Fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22 and 23.  What I believe to have been the objective was to help us to look introspectively into our lives and see how we measure up during this period of crisis here in the United States.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

My husband and I belong to a Bible study group that meets on Thursday night to review the message from the previous weekend.  To say that this has been a challenge for me is an understatement.  I look into my dark heart and wonder if I exhibit the fruit in a way that truly shows to others "Christ likeness in Crisis." Have I been more loving, more gentle, more faithful, more self-controlled or have I been all about me?  Have I sought ways to reach out to those who are different than me in ways of kindness, peace and patience?  Have I found joy in this time?

After a long hard evaluation, I think I need to hit the "reset" button.  I need to be intentional about these characteristics.  I need to stop excusing my impatience, my lack of faithfulness, my unbridled emotions that can lead to anger and harshness.  I need to come back to the Source of the Fruit.  The One who truly exhibited the Fruit in His daily interactions.

Jesus is the example I need to follow.  He exhibited love in the face of hatred. He lived joy in  the midst of His difficult journey.  He presented peace in the midst of chaos.  He demonstrated patience with the most frustrating.  He was kind even to those who persecuted Him.  He was good even in the evilness of His day.  He was faithful while completing the most difficult task. He was gentle in the response to brutality and He demonstrated self-control when all around Him were people intent on destroying Him. 

How then can I do any less than hit reset and start again?  I must look beyond myself and see the needs around me with an open heart and a willingness to reach out to those that God places in my life who may challenge my safe little world.  What is in the past is exactly that - the past.  Now, to move on to the future and with God's help I will see growth in my life to be a woman committed completely to living as one who seeks to be like my Savior.

Variety by Design

Today as I was returning home from my noon time walk with Mallie, I took a minute to look at all the flowers that we have in our yard.  And what struck me was the variety of type and the variety of color. 

Some people like to be much more uniform in their gardening.  They like to have one or two different types of flowering plants and arrange them in neat little rows and call it a day.  I am more the find a flower and plop it kind of gardener.  Each year I try something new but then I also pick some of my favorite standbys.  I look at it and say "that is good!"

It made me think of the verse in Genesis 1:31 "Then God looked over all He had made, and saw that it was very good! And evening passed and morning came, marking the sixth day." There is one little key word in that verse that I want to focus on today.  It is the word "all."

We live in troubled times. I have watched the news, I have read the posts, I have cried a few tears over the events of the past few days and really the events of the entirety of mankind. We live in such a broken world, filled with prejudice, hate, injustice. And I know that at times I have been guilty of all three.

The apostle Paul in his writing to the Romans said in chapter 12 verse 9 "Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them.  Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good." And so I challenged myself - do I really love others, others who are different than me?  Do I see the variety of God's human creation as beautiful and yet equal?  Do I choose variety or do I simply stick with sameness?  Do I see the inequities and work to facilitate change or do I hide behind the safety of my little garden?

May I seek to be planted in gardens of color, of diversity, of beauty.  All of humanity - made in the image of God.  None better than the other.  May my heart continue to be tender toward the plight of those who are disenfranchised with their way of life.  May I be willing to sacrifice for others just as Christ did for me.

Feeling Puzzled?

 I am not sure about you - but I am certainly feeling very puzzled by all that has been swirling around in the news lately.  You begin to wonder who to trust, who really understands and who can ensure that what we are doing with the current health situation is the right thing.

Each day more and more pieces of this puzzlement come to light.  And try as I might I find that not all of the pieces seem to fit together.  I have tried to force a fit.  Tried to make plans, tried to organize events only to find that it was not going to work.  I find myself out of sorts at times with all of this upheaval.

Interestingly different regions of the country as well as different regions of the state are experiencing different outcomes with the testing of COVID-19.  It is like a puzzle that has different images.  What pieces fit for one region will not fit for another.  And yet, each image needs to be put together in order to have a whole puzzle.  Each region of the puzzle touches another region.  The pieces all need to fit together. 

When working on a puzzle it seems to work best for me when I step away for a bit and allow my mind and eyes a rest from viewing all of the pieces.  It seems to me that when I come back to the puzzle a piece will jump out to me and I will be able to be one step closer to finishing the puzzle. Perhaps that is the way that this whole puzzle will be solved.  I really am trusting that each state and each community will do what they need to do in order to allow the country to be put back together soon! 

One thing that I do know for sure - God has this all under control!  There is nothing about this that is a surprise to Him.  And He will be faithful to see us all through this confusing and troubling time.  And in the end - the puzzle will be complete and will be a beautiful finished product with all the pieces found and in their proper place. 

Stay safe all!