Forgiveness

Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Lately, I have been thinking alot about forgiveness. I guess it is because I have so much in my life that needs to be forgiven. I also am beginning to recognize just how hard it can be to forgive others - especially when they have injured you in a very deep and profound way.

When Peter came to Jesus to ask Him how often he needed to forgive an offending brother I honestly think that Peter thought Jesus would be content with 7. Not so. Our Lord challenged Peter to forgive not just 7 times but 77 times. Of course, the number is unimportant. It is the concept that no matter how many times a brother or sister offends me I am to forgive.

How hard it is though when I see someone purposely doing hurtful things to me or to others and to realize that God expects me to reach out and forgive one more time. It is a stretch. And sadly, I am not always successful. I feel at times as though I will never be able to get beyond it. But then I am reminded of my own sin. I am reminded of how many times I let others down and wanted their love and forgiveness just the same.

The challenge for me is discerning the difference between forgiveness and enabling. For example, if you know that someone is doing something that is sinful and wrong and even following confrontation about their actions they are unwilling to change - what do you do? Do you forgive? What would Jesus have me to do in that case?

There were challenging times in my past where I was deeply involved in behaviors which brought pain and harm to those that I loved. Some of the consequences of that behavior I have to live with for the rest of my life. And there were some difficult choices that my brothers and sisters in Christ had to make. It hurt. Yet, now looking back on all of it I realize that God was using that to prepare me for restoration. His forgiveness was never in question. He was just waiting for me to come back. He was there all the time.

Recently, I have taken to writing or contacting people who I felt I had hurt. Each and every one of them have extended to me the healing touch of forgiveness. Sometimes it overwhelms me how gracious they all have been. I feel so undeserving. It has been such an emotional rollercoaster. Yet I know that God is using this as a window for me to look out and to see that I too must be willing to forgive others. I must be willing to see past their sin and look only to what God would have me to be in their lives.

I do not think that forgiveness needs to "excuse" poor choices or bad behavior. I know that God has forgiven me. Still there are consequences that I cannot sidestep. They are my reality. This is true of those that I am in relationship with as well. Simply because I choose to forgive (and it is a choice) does not mean that I condon the sin. To be able to walk in truth in these hard things is where the struggle comes in for me.

All in all God is teaching me lessons. He is teaching me that the same hand of forgiveness that I longed for needs to be extended out to others. He is teaching me that His grace is enough. He is teaching me that the love and mercy that He demonstrated toward me is the same that He wants me to shower on those He has put in my life.

"Oh Father, I do pray for forgiveness for not always being willing to forgive others as You have forgiven me. Teach me how to forgive - not as I would - but as You would."