I want to be a Blooming Tree

I love spring! It is truly my favorite season of the year. I love the tiny little buds that are ready to blossom with all kinds of flowers and fruit. I keep peeking at my lilacs to see when they are going to burst open with that aroma that makes me think of all that is beautiful in the world.

This past week has been one of a lot of circumspection. God has revealed to me through circumstances that I have allowed myself to be a tree rooted in unfertile soil. All of these years I have lived in a very shallow soil of my Christianity. The roots in their attempt to find nourishment went to places of fast growth. Just like everything that grows fast - it dies fast. The blossoms may come out but they will be shriveled and the fruit will be pitted and small. The type of fruit of this type of tree are jealousy, self-centeredness, co-dependency and pride. It is not a very beautiful tree - in fact, it is a tree that is very deceptive. At first blush it looks normal but the closer you get to it the more you see the shallowness and the emptiness of the growth.

So, I prayed. And I asked God to reveal in me what I must change in order to be a blooming tree. Not just any blooming tree but a gorgeous, full and overflowing tree. One that takes His breath away. That is what I want. That is my heart's desire. He has shared with me through His Word that I must find my roots deeply penetrating the soil of His word. I must water the roots with obedience and I must seek the light of His Son. I can not allow my roots to seek fast growth. I must take growth in a steady forward way. I do not need to seek out fertilizer from the world. I must be fertilized only by the Holy Spirit.

And so, I must dig up the old tree. Find all the old roots and dig them up and burn them. And when those little tiny sprouts come back up - I need to deal with them quickly so that do not take root and grow.

I want to be a Blooming Tree and have His life lived deep in me. I want the light of His love to blossom on every branch and the fruit that grows to be that of joy, peace, faith and long suffering. I want most of all that the Blooming Tree would be a tree of love. His love.

Fragile Beauty

Walking along a wooded stream I came across this limb hanging above the waterfall. The ice had collected on the branches and formed the most intricate pattern of ice. As the water would spray up onto the branch another bead of water would adhere to the ice and it would drip down the form until it too became a part of the whole.

The brisk chill in the air kept the ice from melting and allowed the beautiful image to grow and take on its unique shape. Even the warmth of the infant spring sun was not warm enough to keep the water from freezing. It was breathtaking. And in a brief moment - with the coming of spring - the fragile beauty will be gone.

I spent a great deal of time this Easter weekend thinking about the fragile nature of life. Our lives are like this fragile image. We live for such a brief time and are gone. We live as a part of the whole of humanity until the time of our passing. And yet, each individual life is uniquely different from the rest.

How great is our God. He knew that we need to be a part of a whole. Yet, He created us as individuals, each with our own unique aspects. He provided the community where we can thrive and grow and yet He knows that even while we are a part of it - we are individuals.

As the ice form melts it melts away one droplet at a time. Each individual part leaving the whole. Each individual part standing on its own. But God knows the makeup, the frame, of each one. How great is His design. He made us to be individuals who long to be a part of something greater than ourselves. He wants us to be a part of Him. He wants us to adhere to Him and to never melt away. The conditions are always right. We can stay close to Him and to become one with our Father. Our identity can be joined to His. The fragile beauty of God's love for us pulls us closer to the designer's heart.

Ever need a hand?

You know sometimes it would really be nice if God had a human hand there to help pull us up over the bumps in the road. Haven't you ever had those moments where you just feel yourself sliding backwards and you reach out and it feels as though no one is there? I sure have. And now and then I have to admit I get frustrated.

God at times seems so far away. Yet, I know that in the realities of life He is using these bumps in my life to help me to grow. After all if there were no trials, if life were all pie in the sky would I even reach out for Him? There are times though where it sure would feel nice if God had some "skin".

I feel really alone at times. There are situations that I have no one to run to who can really hear my heart. And when I pray sometimes I wonder if God is even really listening. Where is that coming from? Obviously, Satan wants to continue to plant seeds of doubt into my mind and to keep me from reaching out for the Invisible one.

Romans 8 has been a favorite resource of mine over the years. And especially now as I have an extremely difficult family situation to deal with. I know that in the past I have tried to always be the one to fix things. If only I worked harder or if I could persuade someone to do something my way it would work out. Yet, I am learning that God wants me to trust in Him. Completely. Not to wallow in the past where all the disappointment and heartache is but to truly rest in His sovereign will knowing that He has my best, our best at heart all the time. I can be a conquerer. But it is only as I put my complete faith and trust in Him and to reach out and grab ahold of His hand. Yes, I really need a hand. I need the hand of the one who has continually been there to guide, to forgive, to admonish and to love. Now I will simply put my hand in His and walk.

Romans 8:37-39: But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Stand still and look until you really see

Hosanna! Hosanna in the Highest! Loud the crowd sang as the man from Galilee entered Jerusalem on the back of a borrowed donkey. Hosanna! Hosanna in the Highest! Loud the crowds sang in churches around the globe as we celebrate the entrance of our Lord and Savior. We sing joyfully with great jubilation the triumph of the King of Kings. We wave our fronds symbolically to commemorate what took place so many years ago.

But, as I watched and participated in the often repeated symbolism I stopped to think about what it was they were celebrating and what I was celebrating today.

Our pastor used as his introduction to his message the quotation I used for the title of this post. "Stand still and look until you really see." And as I listened, reflected, sang and prayed I thought how often have I really done that. How often did those villagers on the road to Jerusalem stop to really look at who Jesus was. How often have I?

What must it have been like to have walked with Jesus? To have heard the sound of His voice as He taught His disciples and followers? What would it have been like to have felt His gaze upon you, as Peter did? Did they see Him or did they only see what they thought they could gain by knowing Him? If they really saw Jesus for who He said that He was and heard Him wouldn't they have stood by Him as He later hung on the cross of Calvary, bearing their sin and judgment upon Himself? Instead, they turned into the jeering crowd that condemned Him to His fate.

Lest I sound as though I am judging them harshly I look at my own life. Have I stopped and really seen Jesus for Who He is not just for what I could gain from knowing Him? Am I really ready to stand by Him as crucified with Him? Am I willing to follow Him to the death if necessary? Am I truly willing to stand still and see? What if it costs me everything?

Lord Jesus, the pain of knowing I have been as the crowd in Jerusalem sears my heart today. I know that I too have longed for what You could do for me - answered prayers - ease of life - health restored. And I have been disappointed, even angry at the times when You chose not to answer as I asked. I pray that I would stand still and look until I really see You for Who you are. And that I might be an imitator of You. I pray that I can join You in Your suffering. I pray that I can see Your people as You see them and that my heart would be broken as Yours is broken when I see the pain of those who do not know You. Teach me to see more and to speak less. Teach me to stand still more and be moving less. How I pray that I will follow You as You lead and no longer turn to the right or the left. You are my God and I will forever praise You.

Hosanna, Hosanna in the Highest! Crown Him with many Crowns! Hosanna Yeshua!

What a Hole - Can it be filled?

Okay, so you say - what can possibly be said about a hole in the ground that would have eternal signifance? Well, I have been pondering this for a couple of days and really feel that this hole (or one like it) demonstrates a lot about our walk with the Lord.

When someone decides to dig a hole it is usually with the intent of filling it up with something else. The dirt is taken out and some object whether solid or liquid generally gets placed into the hole and then whatever soil is needed is placed on top until the ground is leveled again.

Sometimes holes can be caused by a shifting of the earth such as a pothole. Shifting ground or pressure from above can cause the hole to appear without ever having seen a shovel. The hole is there waiting for something to fill it up.

Often an animal of some burrowing type will dig away at the ground, making a home for themselves. They don't even bother to cover it up when they vacate it. Perhaps they intend to come back at some point or they may be setting it up for the next lonely traveler to find rest. Again, the hole is there waiting for something to fill it.

Unlike all of the examples above though, we are born with a hole. This hole is the deep yearning for someone greater than ourselves. From the very earliest moments of our lives we long to be "filled up" with that which would satisfy that gaping hole. We fill ourselves with food and drink, relationships, riches and sometimes even religion in a vain attempt to fill the hole of our spirit. All the while God is waiting patiently to bring filling to our spirit by the presence of the Holy Spirit within our lives.

And so, when we come to faith in Jesus Christ, our hole becomes filled with the Spirit. The Spirit seeks to fill the emptiness of our lives with His love, His grace and His wisdom. But, we at times try to shovel in a lot of the dirt of the world and we displace Him from the hole. Not that He is ever gone, He just seems to be pushed aside while we place other objects that we feel will fill us. And as we continue to shovel in all this muck the emptiness grows greater and greater - until finally we have had enough. We pray and ask for the filling of the Holy Spirit. The hole once again is filled to the brim and often times - if we just allow His lordship we will feel the hole over flow with His goodness.

How foolish we are when we try and fill the hole of our lives with things that cannot satisfy. Instead, we should seek out the One who satisfies, the One who completes and the One who longs to fill us completely with His love. As we read His word another shovel full of "spirit ground" goes into the hole and we sense His filling. As we pray we feel the gap close in as we grow closer and closer to the One who brings us completeness. As we in faith stand back and allow the Master to fill us with His love, His healing, His discipline, His peace we find that our ground is becoming more and more level. The walking gets easier as we smooth out the rough spots along the way.

Oh, there will be times as we go along life's path that the hole will need to be resurfaced, but it is so much better if we maintain that filling with that which truly satisfies then to wait until the hole has grown to the point of needing a major excavation and repair.

Oh Lord, thank you that the hole can be filled. And most of all thank you for wanting to fill it. May my spirit always be willing to be filled with your Spirit.