A Sailboat and Joy

One ship sails east
One ship sails west
Regardless of how the winds blow.
It is the set of the sail
And not the gale
That determines the way we go.
(Ella Wheeler Wilcox)

God is not a god of coincidence. Have you ever noted that? He has a defined purpose and plan for each of us. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

So if you have been following my journey you know that I have been traveling on the road to healing from a long visit in the desert. And it seems that everywhere I turn I am confronted by the word "joy". Every sermon I have listened to the past few days has had as their focus the book of Philippians and the joy that the apostle Paul wrote about. Then today on my igoogle site where I have quotes from Two Listeners it said "Go forward you are beginning a new Life. Joy, Joy, Joy." Okay, God - I hear you.

The poem that I put at the top is one that I heard today and wanted to share. It is all about choice. As I wrote yesterday, I choose joy. My sail is set on the journey toward joy. But, I am not going into this blindly. I realize that the journey toward joy is one that may be fraught with sorrow. Sorrow and joy kind of go hand in hand. We really want the joy - but who wants the sorrow?

Isaiah 51:11 The ransomed of the LORD will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

God's word promises us that sorrow and sighing will flee away. We will overcome the sorrow and sighing of this time when the Lord returns. It may be hard now though when the sorrow weighs so heavily upon us. This is when I believe that God wants us to trust Him and choose joy. This is where faith comes in. This is where despite my circumstances I will choose joy. I will continue to set my sail and choose the path of joy. I will have faith in God because He has proven Himself to be trustworthy and faithful to me.

All of this reminds me of the song I sang when I was little. I taught this to my kids too. I wonder if it is sung very much any more. If not - let's bring it back! Get on the joy path!

I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart
where?
down in my heart
where?
down in my heart.
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart
down in my heart to stay!!!

I Choose Joy

Psalm 65:8

Those living far away fear your wonders; where morning dawns and evening fades you call forth songs of joy.

I have been thinking a lot about joy lately. It is so discouraging at times with all the bad news in the world to truly be happy. Yet, joy and happiness are not synonymous. To me happiness is a state of emotion and is very dependent on what is going on in my world at that point in time. Joy though is a state of being. I choose to be joyful regardless of my circumstances.

Paul in Philippians discusses his circumstances and the fact that he was hard pressed to decide which was better – to be present in this world or to be present with the Lord. He counted it all joy even though at the time he was imprisoned. I don’t think Paul even thought about his circumstances. I think all he thought about was demonstrating the joy that comes from knowing Christ. Joy doesn’t come from us – it comes from Christ living in us and the desire to serve Him in the furtherance of His kingdom.

Joy then can be a constant. It does not come and go like happiness. If we are truly faithful about our walk with God and we press on regardless of our temporal circumstances – we can know true joy. But, what happens when we are not faithful?

When I have been unfaithful to God a dry spirit indwells me. Nothing brings that wellspring within me that causes a song to break forth in the morning. But, our God, the Father of all joy, loved me enough to forgive my unfaithfulness and set my feet aright on the path once again. The confession of sin and the repentance that followed allowed the Spirit of God to bring a song of joy to my heart again. Praise His faithfulness.

My name, Carol, means “song of joy”. When my parents named me that, I doubt that they knew its meaning. But, as I ponder it, I think that God has used my name to remind me of His faithfulness to me. I too can be a song of joy because of His great love toward me. May I truly walk in faithfulness and abound in His goodness and joy as I seek to serve Him.

Forgiveness

"Whenever you are in a critical temper, it is impossible to enter into communion with God." Oswald Chambers

Lately, I have been pondering forgiveness and what it means to me and also what it costs. Obviously, as a Christian I am very grateful for God's forgiveness. Without it, I would be lost eternally and would never know what it means to walk in the light of my salvation. But, what about forgiveness from others? Or what about granting forgiveness?

There have been circumstances where I have done or said things which have brought harm and pain to others. It is a very humbling and sometimes frightening prospect to approach asking for their forgiveness but I believe it is actually easier at times than forgiving someone else.

I have harbored deep inside of my heart a very deep-seeded anger and woundedness toward someone for many years. This anger has seeped into my every day life and at times even invades my dreams. It causes me to fall short of the meaningful relationship with my Father that I long for. He wants me to be able to open my hands and let it go. Forgive. And get beyond it.

This will require letting go of a big crutch that I have held for so long. I mean after all if I hold onto my anger I can excuse my behavior. I can fall back on what has become a comfortable old friend. But, this old friend is really a snake in the grass. It consumes me with the poison that it inflicts with each biting criticism or nasty thought that I allow.

How can I who deserves no mercy, no forgiveness, no acceptance by the God of heaven be unwilling to forgive? Oh God, forgive me for my hard heart. Forgive me for my critical spirit that has blocked my communion with you. Please help me to let go of the anger and hurt of the past and realize that this is a new season. A new start. A new life that you have given to me. I do not want to wallow in the pain of the past any longer. You know the one that this is pointed to. And I pray that your hand of blessing would rest upon him and that his life would be one of purpose.

Forgive me and fill me with the joy of knowing that your Spirit lives within me and brings me to the place where I can surrender the pain of the past and move to the place of quiet joy that You alone can give.

More Questions than Answers

Today I feel filled with questions. And not a whole lot of answers. Thoughts come to my mind and I wonder where they are coming from. Are these thoughts from God or are they thoughts from someone else? Are they thoughts that should be shared or are they thoughts better kept to myself. Oh how I cry out for the wisdom of God to truly know.

Whoever said that walking the Christian life was easy must never have really walked it in earnest for I have seen what that looks like and it is anything but easy. I have experienced one who searches so deeply for the truth of who God is and what He has in mind and the walk is no where near easy. It is hard and full of sacrifice and trial. And yet, there is an abiding joy in the journey. Not a giddy joy but a quiet joy and one that stirs within me a desire to know this walk in a deeper more intimate way.

People cannot know or understand the sincerity with which a sister or brother in Christ walk their journey. They can only appreciate (or condemn) what they see on the outside. Their judgements may be made based on distortions of the truth and sometimes based upon the fear that they cannot explain through theology what someone else has experienced or is going through. This is a lesson that I am learning though my own journey and also by watching and questioning the journey of others. God in His Sovereign design has brought me to this place. A place of desire to go deeper, to know Him more fully and to trust in His works - even when there are more questions than answers.

It is at times frightening to follow hard after God. What might He call me to? What might He require of me? Will I be up to the task? Will I fall? What if no one goes with me, will I still follow? So many questions and no answers but one. Obedience. That is the call that I have witnessed in recent days. I have seen obedience in action. I have watched as it has carved its niche in the life of a dear friend. I have seen its mark of loyalty in the life of a fellow-traveler. All of this I have seen and wonder. How Lord? How can all of this be? And yet I know. It is because of obedience and trust in You.

My heart longs for this obedient life. And I pray for the one who has demonstrated this to me. I pray for continued strength for this journey and for the wisdom to hear and to respond as faithfully as one can. May the Lord continue to shower you with "diamonds" and with His divine voice in the shadows of the night. And to your constant and faithful friend, I pray for peace in the journey and the tenacity to carry our friend that last leg up the mountain.

"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.”- James 3:17-18

A New Start

I have been reading a really interesting and thought provoking book called Downpour by James MacDonald. This book is a study in what it means to really know the outpouring of the Holy Spirit in our lives so that we can know continual revival.

How thirsty I am for this type of life. I have lived for so long in the desert of my faith. But, I have been really working through a lot of what I believe has been the problem with moving into a victorious life. I believe that I had grieved the Holy Spirit because my life was not what God would have had for me. And I quenched the Spirit by being disobedient to what He wanted me to do. So for many years, I have wandered about in this dry and arid desert.

But, I have come face-to-face with what I have done. I have confessed all that I know that I have done that grieved the Spirit. And I am praying for the strength to do all that He leads me to in order to not quench the Spirit. I believe that this is a new beginning for me. I am overwhelmed with the grace of God. When I stop to think of the pit that I lived in for such a long time and how He through His mercy brought me back to His side - I am in total awe. How good God is. And how holy. May I never lose sight of that.

This morning as I was reading in Joshua, chapter 23 the 2-1/2 tribes that went back across the Jordan built a large altar upon their return. The tribes on the western side saw this and immediately jumped to the conclusion that their brothers were going to offer sacrifices in a place other than where the Ark was. They were ready to wage war. But.... the truth was - the 2-1/2 tribes were building something to remind them of all that God had done in their lives.

I am determined to build a marker for this time in my life. I want to have a place where I can go to remind myself of where I was and where I have been and start a new beginning. I want to go back to that place now and again to remember God's holiness, His mercy and His love. Perhaps it will be a memorial that someday I will share with my kids to show them and help them to see how big and how great is our God.

My picture above was from when I was a little girl. Innocent and untouched by the sin of this world. I will never again be that little girl. But, I can start anew and fresh and walk as a child with the Holy Spirit as my guide. I have learned a lot and I have grown a lot. And I now know my greatest desire is to walk hand-in-hand with my Lord.

A Pretty Precious Person

Based on the fact that Mother's Day is just around the corner I thought that I would put a poem out that I wrote for my Mom about 5 years ago. This was before my Dad passed away. Mom has weathered a lot over the years and still continues to be the glue that holds the Weimer kids together. I thank God for her faithfulness to Him, to our Dad and to we kids. We have been blessed! I love you dearly, Mom!

A Tribute to My Mom
Mother’s Day 5/11/2003


Can you picture her there?
Can you see where she is?
Can you remember her touch?
Can you feel the love that she gives?

At home in the valley
At the place where she’s been
Our mother, our confidant
Our encourager, our friend.

She has had to be strong
When the times grew tough.
She always found a way to share
Even when there wasn’t enough.

In my mind I can see her
All the memories we’ve made.
In my heart I can feel her
And the patterns she’s laid.

She brought us to life
And nurtured us so.
Her prayers and her love
With each of us go.

A woman of strength, a woman of faith
A woman I cherish now and always.