On Saying Goodbye

 Today we said our goodbye's to Flora.  It was a lovely service filled with all of the truth and humor that made up her life. As I looked around at the many people that were there to honor her life I reflected a bit more on just what Flora meant to me.

There was a time in the service that they asked for people to speak up about their remembrances. I was not comfortable to do that for many reasons but I certainly had a lot I could have shared.

About 25 years ago I got to know Flora.  Really even before I became such close friends with her daughter, Beverly. Flora worked with me during a time in my life when I was really struggling.  She would often see me crying or just sad and she would take the time to  listen.  Often times she would say a few words of encouragement but sometimes it would be words that were necessary to help me get back to where I needed to be. There was never a word of condemnation.  She just knew the right thing to say at the right time.  And she always committed to pray for me. I will always cherish that about her.  And I want to be that kind of friend to others. 

Flora wrote a book that she just got printed and bound a couple of months ago.  It is a chronicle of her life stories.  What a treasure.  She wrote of the highs and lows of her life and most of all she wrote about her love for her Savior.  I was honored that she gave me one and that she wrote an inscription just for me in its cover. As I think about her doing this it has challenged me to get busy and write down the stories of my life.  Maybe that will be the gift that she gave to me - the challenge - the inspiration to get busy doing what I have always wanted to do.

At the end of her book she concluded with a passage from Psalm 73.  I share it now because it was her testimony.  She truly knew she was held by our Father. 

"Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish, you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.

But for me it is good to be near God. I have made the Lord God my refuge."

You are now with our Savior, dear Flora.  You likely never knew just how much you meant to me. It was more than just apple dumplings we made together.  You wrapped my broken heart at a time when few knew it was damaged. The twinkle in your eye and the smile you always showed me - even when you were in such discomfort will always be the image I will see when I think of you.  You are now with your loved ones who have gone on before you.  Maybe if you could - would you look up my folks?  I am sure my mom would love to meet you.  You both had so much in common.  Most of all - that you both loved me!

Stay on the Path

Proverbs 4:26-27 "Watch the path of your feet and all your ways will be established. Do not turn to the right or to the left; turn your foot from evil."

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the course my life has taken.  I guess it is that time of year again when I start reflecting on where I have been, where I am and where I hope to be.  And so when I was reading Proverbs the other day these verses really hit home. 

As I thought about my life I realized just how often I took my eyes off the path.  I looked and some times meandered to the right or to the left. Each and every time that wandering took me off the path that God had set before me.  There were dangers confronted, evils encountered, sadness generated - all because I took my eye off the path.  

It's interesting how the things off to the side of the path look so enticing when you are still on the path.  The hidden secrets only manifest themselves when you take that first step off the intended way.  Often times it became a long process to find my way back to the path once again. 

At times the path has seemed monotonous - just putting one foot in front of the other day in and day out. The end of the path is never in sight and so I have no idea how long it is or whether or not I will encounter a lot of hills or unexpected construction.  That has made me at times also look for shortcuts or an easier path to walk on. Yet again when I chose to do this I found myself missing out on the best path - the one intended for me.

Proverbs talks so much about wisdom.  And as I think about these verses I pray that I will be better in the days ahead to stay on the path, putting aside any temptation to veer off its course.  This is the way of safety, this is the way of joy, this is the way of walking in step with my Savior.  He is there in each step. He is there to guide me if only I ask and if only I obey. 

Running the Gun Lap

 

This past week I heard an interview by author Robert Wolgemuth about his latest book entitled “Gun Lap.”  Having never been a runner I really did not understand the significance of this term until I looked it up.  When I looked it up in the dictionary this is what I learned:  “the final lap of a race in track signaled by the firing of a gun as the leader begins the lap.” 

Life is a race and none of us know what lap of the race we are on.  But the apostle Paul in II Timothy 4:7-8 said these very familiar words:  ^“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”

So I found myself wondering – have I been fighting the good fight?  Have I kept the faith, even when things did not turn out the way that I wanted?  Am I going to finish the race with integrity and honor my Father with the days I have?  Psalm 90: 12 says “Teach us to number our days aright, so that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”  Am I gaining a heart of wisdom?  Am I counting each day as the precious gift that it is?

For the past 6 weeks I have led a ladies Bible study at my church.  The topic was "Trustworthy - Overcoming our Greatest Struggles to Trust God." We have been following the lives of several of the kings from the OT.  And one stark truth came out in nearly all of them.  They started out strong but they did not finish strong.  What happened?  In most cases they took their eyes off of God and put their eyes on people, possessions and positions.  It was very sad to read this and also quite convicting.

I looked at each of these areas in my own life.  Each of us have opportunities to influence one another to love and good works in the days ahead.  I want to find ways to be an encouragement to others and to share the faithfulness of God to those who are struggling.  But I do not want to run my gun lap comparing where I am with others who are also in the race. 

Possessions have never really been a thing for me.  I grew up in fairly humble means and feel that I have been greatly blessed with what I have. I do not take lightly though that everything that I have - from my home to my means of earning a living are a gift from God. Any of it could be taken from me in a heartbeat. And then where is my confidence?  Am I running a gun lap to keep up with my neighbors or am I willing to share all that I have with those who are in need? 

And lastly position.  Do I take unmerited pride in the things that I have accomplished?  Or do I look at it truly as another way that my trustworthy God has blessed me?  I recently read where in 100 years few, if any will remember your name.  We are all replaceable. So while working hard and giving my best to those endeavors I am a part of is important - in my gun lap it is not the most important thing.

I pray each morning when I wake up I will see the day for exactly what it is – an opportunity!  What I do with that opportunity is pretty much up to me.  I can choose to make it a day that is all about God or I can make it a day that is all about me.  If my objective is to truly do what Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-38  “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” then the answer is clear. My gun lap needs to be focused on faithful love and obedience to God and truly loving my neighbor as myself. 

Time is the one commodity that cannot be replenished. Now is the time to run a strong gun lap!

A Passing

People come and go in our lives. They touch us in ways that are sometimes quite profound. The going is where our hearts are forever changed.

Over the past two months three people who were a part of my life in some way have passed away. Most recently today.

Nothing quite prepares you for the finality. You recognize that you will lose people during the course of your life. But, the reality of the call, the text, the email notifying you leaves you raw.

All of a sudden there is a hole, a rush of questions that may have no answers, a flood of memories of how that person impacted your life. You feel almost like your view of life has now changed. And it has. Those of us left behind try and find our way on this uncharted territory.

I find myself wondering why God in His Sovereignty chooses to take one who was so vibrant, so caring and so full of life. I know I will not have the answers to this but it does make me wrestle with it. But, then I stop to think about how God sent His only Son to die for me. For us. He willingly did this that eternal life can be given to those who believe. He was vibrant, He was caring and He was so full of life. And for three days He lay in the grave. And then the resurrection! New Life! And each of these three wonderful women are experiencing new life! No more pain, no more treatments, no more sorrow.  And for those of us left behind we have this hope:

I Thessalonians 4:13-14 "And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died."

Knock the Stuffing Out

 

At least 30 years ago my dear sister, Connie made me this patchwork quilt.  To say it has seen some wear is an understatement.  It has moved from house to house, state to state, even marriage to marriage with me.  Faithful old quilt.  Soft, worn and warm are its folds.

As the years have passed the quilt has had some of its stuffing knocked out of it.  The patches wore away and most recently my dog, Mallie decided she needed to help with the process.  I keep thinking I should patch it up.  Or maybe I should send it up to Connie and have her do it as she is much more likely to actually get it done.

Then I stop and think about how this quilt is such a picture of my life.  There are patches in this quilt that are still intact and some that are frayed and the stuffing coming out.  The patches that are still good represent those relationships in my life that I still have and those that are tattered and worn represent those relationships that I have lost either by intention or by death.

Recently I have experienced the loss of two people who had significance in my life.  One a young woman the age of my children and the other a friend that I have had for over 35 years. Both of these losses have profoundly impacted me. You could say the loss has knocked the stuffing out of me. I have wept more tears since Christmas than I have cried since my mom passed away nearly 10 years ago.

I keep thinking I should patch up the wounds these losses have dealt me but then I recognize that the loss has drawn me to examine what really matters in life. I have always been someone who needed to be busy, to find fulfillment in my work or to be looking for the next best thing. But I realize right now where I am and the life God has given me is where I need to focus. The patches that are surrounding me right now are tightly stitched and I feel the need to protect that. And the patches where the stuffing has been exposed remind me of where I have been and who I have known.  All a part of the life I have been granted.  Not a day to waste.

So while I do feel like the stuffing has been knocked out of me - I am thankful.  Actually blessed.  And the soft, worn and warm patches of my life will continue to envelope me until the day God calls me home.