I Wonder as I Wander

 

Over the past couple of weeks I have heard an old Christmas carol that rarely gets sung any more.  And today while I was out walking I heard the carillon from one of our town's churches ring out the melody to "I Wonder as I Wander". Seemed like God was prompting me to think about the words.  

As I meandered my way home I left a trail of tracks in the freshly fallen snow. Those tracks soon to be a passing memory of the time I walked this road, hidden by the continually falling snow. This is a picture of our lives. We leave a trail for those who follow behind us but it is soon erased by the passage of time. In the meanwhile, what memory do we leave those who follow us?  Are we pointing them to Christ by our actions, do we show the light that we have within us? Or are we absorbed by the darkness that we live in?

It has been very easy this year to fall prey to the discouragement of the health situation, political chaos, and personal issues that continue to beat us all down. But then I stop in the quietness of the day and think about the real meaning of Christmas and it gives me heart to press on.  We can find our comfort in the fact that Jesus came to bring the light out of the darkness.  He came to save ornery people like you and like I.  And I wonder as I wander what paths He would have me take in the days that I have to live. I want to lead others to the peace that comes from knowing that Emmanuel is with us.  Always with us. 

He came, surrendering His Kingly throne to be born in a humble stable.  Why?  Because He loves us!  And so I wonder as I wander how to love Him more deeply, more earnestly.

"I wonder as I wander, out under the sky
How Jesus the Savior, did come for to die
For poor orn'ry people like you and like I
I wonder as I wander, out under the sky

When Mary birthed Jesus, t'was in a cow stall
With wise men and farmers and shepherds and all
And high from God's heaven a starlight did fall
And the promise of ages, it then did recall

If Jesus had wanted for any wee thing
A star in the sky or a bird on the wing

Or all of gods angels in heaven to sing

He surely could've had it, 'cause he was the king"

Raise My Ebenezer

I Samuel 7:12 "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen, and called its name "Ebenezer", saying, "Thus far the Lord has helped us."

Nearly 20 years ago during one of the darkest periods of my life I went for a walk in the woods with a very dear friend.  We had been discussing the faithfulness of God and how even when we are faithless - He is always faithful.  We came across a couple of really nice flat stones and we took them back to her camp and we wrote "Ebenezer" on each one.

This rock has traveled from house to house with me ever since.  It was only just this past week when we were studying the life of Samuel that I was reminded of this rock.  It seemed so appropriate to go and find it and write about it.

There is an old hymn called "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" that has been one of my favorites over the years.  In the second stanza it says:

"Here I raise my Ebenezer

Here there by Thy great help I've come

And I hope, by Thy good pleasure

Safely to arrive at home

Jesus sought me when a stranger

Wandering from the fold of God

He, to rescue me from danger 

Interposed His precious blood"

Samuel placed this rock as a stone of remembrance of all the ways that God had helped the people of Israel during all their wanderings.  And how good it is for me to also remember that.  During times of my wanderings God showed Himself faithful.  There were parents, family and friends that prayed for me and continued to reach out to me even when my actions were disappointing to them.  Why?  Because they felt the prompting in their hearts by my faithful Father to hold me close.  And over time the dark clouds parted and I could once again see the light of His love and come back to what I knew all along was the source of my joy and peace. He, rescued me from danger.

And even now when we find ourselves in this dark time in our country we should raise our Ebenezer and remember all the ways that God has proven Himself faithful to us.  If it were not for His grace we would be completely undone.  And He continues to be there - waiting for us to humble ourselves and pray and ask Him for His help and guidance as we navigate the troubled waters.  No man or woman can solve the heavy problems that face us now.  Only our God, the giver and sustainer of life holds all the answers.  We need not fear, we need not despair, we need only to trust - knowing this "Thus far the Lord has helped us."

We Don't Have to Join in the Chaos

"But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world." I John 4:4

Some days I just don't feel like a winner.  I feel beaten up and weary by the continual pummeling of the media all around me. Someone says this, someone says that.  Who knows what is right. We try and base our decisions on facts - but what are the facts? Who do we trust?

Many have chosen to "unplug" from the deluge of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Tiktok posts.  And to be truthful, I have been tempted to do the same.  But, I would miss all the good that I glean from them I guess. In all of it one thing I have determined is - I don't have to join in the chaos.

Ultimately, what we are seeing pushed out as facts often are nothing more than someone else's opinion.  Or, it is someone interpreting what someone else said or wrote. It is like the old game of gossip.  Just line up 10 people in a row sometime and whisper a sentence in their ear and see if it is anywhere close to what you said by the time it reaches the end of the line! People can spin anything to make statements say what they want it to say. And we have to be wise enough to determine its validity.

When I read these things I have to control the urge to put my thoughts out there.  Then I think "I don't have to join in the chaos."  My opinion is exactly that - my opinion. And honestly, who cares? The people who know my heart would understand.  They would understand that my intent is never to bring harm but to foster kindness.  But those who don't know me might misinterpret my intentions.  And so I remain quiet.

I truly believe that the evil we are seeing in this period of our history is nothing more than the plotting of the evil one who seeks to destroy.  His plot has been going on since the beginning of time when he sought to be equal with God.  Yet, I know that he will never have the victory.  Jesus came to overcome and He will be the ultimate victor!  I trust in Him and I do not have to put my trust in men or women who may or may not have my best in mind.  I also do not need to add to any of the chaos that Satan has put out on the world stage for all to see. I can simply be obedient to what I know God has called me to be.  Be kind, be loving, be patient, be generous, be peaceful, be good, be faithful, be gentle, be self-controlled.  If I focus on that - there is little time to be involved in the chaos!

Going Through a System Reset

Over the past several weeks our church has been working through a sermon series called "Christ likeness in Crisis."  Each week one of our pastors would work through one or more of the Fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22 and 23.  What I believe to have been the objective was to help us to look introspectively into our lives and see how we measure up during this period of crisis here in the United States.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

My husband and I belong to a Bible study group that meets on Thursday night to review the message from the previous weekend.  To say that this has been a challenge for me is an understatement.  I look into my dark heart and wonder if I exhibit the fruit in a way that truly shows to others "Christ likeness in Crisis." Have I been more loving, more gentle, more faithful, more self-controlled or have I been all about me?  Have I sought ways to reach out to those who are different than me in ways of kindness, peace and patience?  Have I found joy in this time?

After a long hard evaluation, I think I need to hit the "reset" button.  I need to be intentional about these characteristics.  I need to stop excusing my impatience, my lack of faithfulness, my unbridled emotions that can lead to anger and harshness.  I need to come back to the Source of the Fruit.  The One who truly exhibited the Fruit in His daily interactions.

Jesus is the example I need to follow.  He exhibited love in the face of hatred. He lived joy in  the midst of His difficult journey.  He presented peace in the midst of chaos.  He demonstrated patience with the most frustrating.  He was kind even to those who persecuted Him.  He was good even in the evilness of His day.  He was faithful while completing the most difficult task. He was gentle in the response to brutality and He demonstrated self-control when all around Him were people intent on destroying Him. 

How then can I do any less than hit reset and start again?  I must look beyond myself and see the needs around me with an open heart and a willingness to reach out to those that God places in my life who may challenge my safe little world.  What is in the past is exactly that - the past.  Now, to move on to the future and with God's help I will see growth in my life to be a woman committed completely to living as one who seeks to be like my Savior.

Variety by Design

Today as I was returning home from my noon time walk with Mallie, I took a minute to look at all the flowers that we have in our yard.  And what struck me was the variety of type and the variety of color. 

Some people like to be much more uniform in their gardening.  They like to have one or two different types of flowering plants and arrange them in neat little rows and call it a day.  I am more the find a flower and plop it kind of gardener.  Each year I try something new but then I also pick some of my favorite standbys.  I look at it and say "that is good!"

It made me think of the verse in Genesis 1:31 "Then God looked over all He had made, and saw that it was very good! And evening passed and morning came, marking the sixth day." There is one little key word in that verse that I want to focus on today.  It is the word "all."

We live in troubled times. I have watched the news, I have read the posts, I have cried a few tears over the events of the past few days and really the events of the entirety of mankind. We live in such a broken world, filled with prejudice, hate, injustice. And I know that at times I have been guilty of all three.

The apostle Paul in his writing to the Romans said in chapter 12 verse 9 "Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them.  Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good." And so I challenged myself - do I really love others, others who are different than me?  Do I see the variety of God's human creation as beautiful and yet equal?  Do I choose variety or do I simply stick with sameness?  Do I see the inequities and work to facilitate change or do I hide behind the safety of my little garden?

May I seek to be planted in gardens of color, of diversity, of beauty.  All of humanity - made in the image of God.  None better than the other.  May my heart continue to be tender toward the plight of those who are disenfranchised with their way of life.  May I be willing to sacrifice for others just as Christ did for me.

Feeling Puzzled?

 I am not sure about you - but I am certainly feeling very puzzled by all that has been swirling around in the news lately.  You begin to wonder who to trust, who really understands and who can ensure that what we are doing with the current health situation is the right thing.

Each day more and more pieces of this puzzlement come to light.  And try as I might I find that not all of the pieces seem to fit together.  I have tried to force a fit.  Tried to make plans, tried to organize events only to find that it was not going to work.  I find myself out of sorts at times with all of this upheaval.

Interestingly different regions of the country as well as different regions of the state are experiencing different outcomes with the testing of COVID-19.  It is like a puzzle that has different images.  What pieces fit for one region will not fit for another.  And yet, each image needs to be put together in order to have a whole puzzle.  Each region of the puzzle touches another region.  The pieces all need to fit together. 

When working on a puzzle it seems to work best for me when I step away for a bit and allow my mind and eyes a rest from viewing all of the pieces.  It seems to me that when I come back to the puzzle a piece will jump out to me and I will be able to be one step closer to finishing the puzzle. Perhaps that is the way that this whole puzzle will be solved.  I really am trusting that each state and each community will do what they need to do in order to allow the country to be put back together soon! 

One thing that I do know for sure - God has this all under control!  There is nothing about this that is a surprise to Him.  And He will be faithful to see us all through this confusing and troubling time.  And in the end - the puzzle will be complete and will be a beautiful finished product with all the pieces found and in their proper place. 

Stay safe all! 

A Very Different Spring

Now and again I like to write poetry.  Not that I consider myself very good at it.  But, today I felt like jotting down a few lines. 

Quietly I see Spring arrive
     Not like any I have seen before.
Oh the flowers and trees are the same
     But sadly I long for more.

I long to see children headed off to school
     And baseballs flying through the air.
I long to see people's faces unmasked
     With hugs and handshakes given without care.

I long to spend time with my family and friends
     In times of laughter and good cheer.
I long to pause in conversation and reflect
     About a time when there was little to fear.

I long to celebrate Easter in church
      With loud hosannas ringing in my ear.
I long to corporately worship
      To bring honor to my Savior dear.

Quietly I see Spring arrive
       Not like any I have seen before.
My heart will never quite be the same
       But perhaps God gave me more

More time to reflect, more time to pray,
       More time to cherish what He gives today.
More time to sing, More time to play,
       More time to live, More time to enjoy each day.

Who is Keeping My Mind?

Every morning when I wake up I think about what is on my to do list or what appointments I have on my calendar.  And every night when I lay my head down I review how I did.  Some days I have a feeling of satisfaction and some days I feel let down. 

Throughout the day my mind can wander into places that either inspire me or defeat me.  It is all a matter of choice.  What I fill my mind with, the news I listen to, the books I read, the TV I watch - all of it plays into the way I go through my day.  I am finding, especially right now, that the consumption of news can make me anxious and can make me feel almost imprisoned.  So I am choosing to limit that to a few key interviews each day and then let the sound bites go. None of it helps me or motivates me to be the best I can be.  It does not help me with what is on my to do list nor does it help me to be an encouragement to those that I have appointments with.

The prophet Isaiah many, many years ago had the right idea.  These encouraging words are what I need to fix my mind on. God will keep me in perfect peace if I keep my mind fixed on trusting Him. I really just noted the word "perfect".  Not just peace, but perfect peace.  But, there is an action that is required on my part.  My part is to be steadfast in fixing my mind on the faithfulness of God and to trust that He has all of this in hand.

It is hard.  It is something that I must exercise.  It will not just happen.  So, I am going to really work at this.  I am going to make an effort beginning now to look up to the One Who truly can give me peace and not look to men who cannot.  I am going to faithfully pray for our leaders but I am not going to have expectations of them that are beyond their power to fulfill.  I am going to practice smiling again and counting my blessings instead of focusing on the things that I cannot change.  I am going to be kinder, gentler and more merciful to those who I disagree with.  And I am going to allow God to keep my mind fixed on Him as I live out these days of uncertainty. 

And maybe in the process - I will go to bed with more feelings of satisfaction than let down!

Hope in a Time of Anxiousness

For several days now we have been in an anxious world. For some it has been longer than that. And as we look out into this uncertain future I wondered if I even had anything worth saying to add to all the frantic posts, angry news articles and tweets.  So maybe this is just for myself that I write.  Or maybe it might be an encouragement to some of my family and friends. 

I am an anxious person.  There - I admitted it.  I think I inherited worry from my sweet mom.  She was the queen of worry.  But, she also was the queen of prayer.  Some may say that the two are diametrically opposite things and I suppose she would have even admitted that. I think that mom wanted so badly to have everybody safe, healthy and happy that she fussed when they weren't. Then she would turn to the One who was able to keep us, to provide for our needs and to ultimately save us from ourselves. I am trying to become more like that.

I hate all of the angst caused by political things that do nothing to encourage our people. I hate that health care workers worldwide are being stretched thin and working in conditions that are beyond my imagination.  I hate that people I care about have lost jobs and the financial resources to care for their families. I hate that children are cooped up in homes where they are not cared for. But, most of all I hate that we turn against one another when what we should be doing is pulling together and contritely asking God for His grace in this difficult time.

I have focused a good bit in the last couple days on an old hymn from my childhood. "In times like these you need a Savior. In times like these you need an anchor; Be very sure, be very sure your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!" I find hope in those words.  The solid rock is Jesus!  He is the one.  And I can rest in the fact that He is not taken by surprise by any of what has taken place.  And He will hold onto me during these days of anxiety and restlessness.  And what can I do?  I can trust in Him.  I can delight in Him.  I can find my hope in Him.  He never changes and He never slumbers or sleeps. I can be kind. I can hold my tongue when what I have to say does nothing to encourage others. And I can look for ways to help those around me who are struggling.

And as my sweet mom would so often say, "Carol, this too shall pass!" And she was right!