The Only Blemish

It has always been interesting to me about how we Christians express things. No wonder people who do not know the Lord question our beliefs. A case in point was today when a believing co-worker of mine shared with me that the only blemish a particular family had was the divorce between one of his siblings and their spouse. Now I don't know about you - but the term blemish has some very negative connotations to me.

While divorce is certainly not God's best for a family does God see it as a blemish on His family? When I think of a blemish it is something that detracts from the beauty of an object. Does the divorce between two people who love the Lord detract from the beauty of the family of God? Or can it demonstrate to the world that we too struggle with the issues of life? I believe it is the later.

Throughout scripture God allowed us to share in the lives of many of His saints who certainly could be seen as blemishes on the family of God. From the very beginning of time man has fallen short of God's best. Abraham lied about his wife Sarah being his sister in order to avoid the wrath of the Egyptian king. David lusted after another man's wife, slept with her and then killed the husband to cover his tracks. On and on the stories go. Why? Wouldn't you think that if God saw all of these activities as blemishes that He would not have exposed them to the readers of His word?

God allows this I believe in order for us to be able to compare what is perfect - God in His purity - and that which is not. Yet how does He see us? He sees us through the shed blood of His perfect Son, Jesus Christ. He sees us not as we are in our flesh but as we are though the Spirit of God. Because of our acceptance of the free gift of Salvation by Grace we no longer bear the blemishes of our sin. We wear the scars of our King.

Turn and Live

Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed against me, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit! Why will you die, O house of Israel? For I have no pleasure in the death of any one, says the Lord GOD; so turn, and live. Ezekiel 18:31-32.

Why would we choose to die? Why indeed. I ask that question of myself periodically when I go back through the passages of time and see where I chose disobedience against the Will of God.
When I came across the verses in Ezekiel last week in my reading it struck me about God's heart. Note the last sentence where the inspired writer says that God has no pleasure in the death of any one. Any one. Not just the just but the unjust. Not just those that walk in the way but those that find themselves off the path. He loves them all. He takes no pleasure in their death.

So why then do we die spiritually? We die because we do not "Turn and live". We continue to follow the broad way that leads to destruction rather than making a turn and following the way that leads to God. In that we die.

What does it take to turn and live? For me it has meant coming to the place where I realized fully that the path I was on was leading me to not only physical death but more importantly to spiritual death. Yes, I was saved; but, I was dying spiritually in that I could not hear the voice of my Father. I heard only the voice of the one who would steal me away from the heart of God. Bit by bit my flame of passion for the things of God eroded away until I could no longer feel His presence.

Because of God's great love for me, He used the everyday situations of life and my family to show me how great was my need of Him. I could no longer walk in the "strength" of my own decisions. I had to come to the end of myself and realize that it was in my weakness that His strength could sustain me. The road became more and more lonely and dark until finally I was able to say enough.

In the past two months I have begun to see that the blessing of turning comes in knowing that I am walking toward the Light. I am walking closer to the Lover of my Soul. I am hearing the sweet sound of the Holy Spirit once again. New people have come into my life and have brought me great joy. And some of my friends from days gone by have returned. It is like a breath of clean air.

God loves us all the same. He sees our great need. He provided a means of salvation through the shed blood of His precious Son. All He asks of us is that we accept the free gift of grace and bow our knee to the Lordship of Christ. Turn and live - may you find your way back!

Quiet Waters

This past weekend my two sisters, Connie and Judy, my niece, Alyson and my dear Mom spent a girls weekend together with me at our cabin. At one point my sisters and I went for a walk down by the creek that runs through the property. I remembered how it rushed through the woods in the early spring when the winter snows had melted and the rains have fallen. Now though after a long and dry summer and fall, the creek has all but gone dry. It quietly flows across the rocks with hardly a sound. The leaves fall into the water and drift through the bends and curves of the stream unable to stop their journey except if snagged by a limb or washed to dry ground.

I was thinking about this a lot as I looked at this picture. Like the spring, when my faith was new, I was like the rushing stream. Always loudly announcing my presence and rushing to the next bend in the flow. But as the years went by, like the dryness of summer, my faith grew dry and my voice quiet. What is the cause of that? When my faith was new it was when I was plugged into the Source. There was no contention for who was the center of my life. My beliefs and my behaviors were in response to living connected to the source of life. Unfortunately, I started to be less and less relient on God and more and more on myself or others to feed the stream of my faith. Over time the stream of faith became quieter and drier.

One thing that I noticed though in this stream is that the water is still continuously flowing. There is no break in it. The stream is still living and providing nourishment to those along the way that draw from it. That gave me hope. Just as the stream will be replenished when the next rain comes or the winter snow melts I too can be replenished by the refreshing rain that comes from the Father.

Where does that rain come from? He sends them through the blessings of my life. The Word of God - His love letter to me. I found a renewed passion for the Word. As each day begins I find myself drawn to linger longer and longer in His Word. The stream grows stronger. My family and friends. They encourage me and enable me to see the light through the darkness. The counsel of wise men and women - who share with me God's Word and guide me in the path that my life may take. The stream begins to flow and overwhelm its banks. It spills over into the lives and hearts of those that I come in contact with. I rejoice in the journey. Each bend in the path of the water confronts me with yet another way to trust and obey my Father. I pray that I will become more and more conformed to the image of the giver of Life.

God has been the stream in my desert. He has seen me through the driest, saddest part of my life. The flowers in the desert bloom as the life giving water awakens life within me.

Roots of Shame

Interestingly, I have been thinking a lot lately about trees. Perhaps it is because it is a season of the year that I love. When the trees become "stars". Their bright foliage like bright lights that show off the grandeur of God's creation. For a brief time, they in their death - show off the brightness of life. Yes, I love trees. I love the ways that their roots can go deep into the earth to find the precious waters that bring growth and fruit. I love the shade that they provide and the coolness they bring in the heat of the summer. I love the way that they sway gently in the wind, their suppleness apparent by the fact that it take great and mighty gusts to topple them.

While I have been thinking of trees, I also have been thinking about shame. The roots of shame go deep. They wind their way through the years of memories, condemnation, judgement and pain. And they seek out the source of strength that comes from the brackish waters of satan's vile deceptions. The trees that bloom from the roots of shame are not beautiful. They do not contain the beautiful leaves or the shade that cools our face. They seek to hide us from the "sonlight" and to keep the gentle breeze of the Spirit from lifting us up out of the pit.

As long as Satan can continue to keep the roots of our shame fed - the tree will continue to grow - until it crowds out any of the beauty of growth that only God can give. This has been the lot of my life these past many years. But no longer. I am committed to starving out the roots of the tree of shame. I have been justified by Christ. I have been redeemed from the penalty of death by His grace. I no longer am bound by the sins that have kept me in shame for far too long.

The beauty of the tree - the beauty of the Tree of Life. All of these things are awakening in me a new reality that God desires for me, all of us that have come into His heavenly kingdom that we must not give in to the shame that sin causes. We must repent of our sin, turn from it and leave it at the cross. To take it up is to reject what Christ has done for us.

Praise you, Jesus. Praise you for being the Life Giver. May the roots of my life go deep to the sweet water of Your word that I may grow in the "Sonlight".

Living a Reba Life

Recently I have found myself addicted to a sit-com that portrays a disfunctional family where the mom (played by Reba) continues to deal with the repercussions of her ex-husbands choices. She befriends (though not by her own choice) the "other" woman and deals with the high school pregnancy of her elder daughter and sweetheart. Through it all Reba maintains a strong position within the family and hides from all who see her the pain and rejection she must have felt.

Some may ask why I watch such silly drivel. I mean after all what woman would have the woman who wrecked her marriage in her home let alone be her best friend. Why would she continue to even interact with the man who wrecked havoc on the family that she had such pride in? But as I watch it I am always drawn to some of the parallels of my own life.

The "Reba Life" is one where she looks beyond what happened to her and tried to find a way to keep the spirit of the family alive. She worked hard at putting aside her own pain and focusing on managing the hopes and dreams of her children. Sometimes she even allowed herself the luxury of losing her temper and voicing the pain that was a part of her every day existence. Her life was changing fast. Who she was and who she wanted to be were not the same. She could not just sit and struggle with the result - she had to get beyond it.

In the real world we don't have the fairy tale situation that this "Reba Life" portrays. I would love at time to scream at the pain that has been such a part of my life these past seven years. Sometimes I want to shake my fist at my family and say "Don't you see me", "Can't you feel my pain and walk through this with me?" But, I don't. I hide behind a plastic smile and manage to get on with things. Yet, inside I hurt and yearn for the days that have escaped me. Choices were made and decisions made that cannot be undone. I am trying to learn how to get beyond it.

Reba seems to be true to herself. She does not allow people to walk all over her. She speaks her mind and deals with the reality of her world. That is what I want for myself. I want to be able to be of a single mind. I want to have my life be congruent with what I know that God has for me. I believe that the only way that I can have a life that is fulfilled and a life of true significance is to get beyond the sin and heartache of the past and live as the beloved of Christ that I am. I need to focus on being a child of God. Live in obedience to the known will of God and to seek to be more and more in love with the lover of my soul.

Life after sinful choices is not a comedy. It is an effort to move through every day. It is an effort to see the good in what has occured. It is an effort to let go of what was. But, it is possible to find life again. Only through the forgiveness that God provided through the death of His dear son can I walk worthy of this love. How thankful I am that my life has meaning because meaning comes from God. All that I am and all that I ever hope to be - I surrender to You, Father. May the very breath that I breathe be wholly unto you.

Peace in the Valley

Recently, my husband David and I traveled up through the northern hills of Pennsylvania. While wending our way up through many of the beautiful state parks that grace our state I was reminded again and again about the variety of God's creation. There are hills and valleys, trees and barren fields, lakes, rivers and streams abound. How beautiful.

Like a reflection of life, creation cries out loudly of how marvelous our God is. Variety and choice. Each life is filled with hills and valleys. The hills can represent conquests or trials. The valley low points or peace. It is all in how we view it. Around each bend is an unknown.

We go through life always looking for what is around the corner or over the next hill. We seldom rest in the valley that God places us in. The valley is a place of peace. The hills that surround the valley protect the wanderer from the winds that blow. In the valley peace can be found. But it requires that we stop and look and think about what it is that God is trying to teach us. We worry way more about getting out of the valley more than concentrating on spending time with our Creator.

It seems that the valley experience of life is something we should be grateful for rather than always seeking to move on to higher ground. God in His own time will move us to the next place we are to dwell as we travel the road to Him.

God's Mercy, My Need

In the past week, I have been reading the book of Nehemiah. It has been an awakening of sorts for me. Over the years when I have done the Bible through in a year, I have read through this book. But, for some reason, this time it has hit me in a way that is truly from God.

In the 9th chapter, there is a prayer of sorts where the people of Israel are reminded of their continual falling away from the Lord. And then they are reminded of the continual mercy that has been given to them by their heavenly Father. Over and over again, the auther goes through the sequence of events and it always ends with God's undying mercy.

This has been the saga of my life too. Over and over again, God in His mercy has pulled me out of the pit of sin and despair because of His love and mercy. I would rise up out of the pit and then for a season of time, I would walk close to His side. Then as time would go by, something or some one would entice me away from His side and I would once again slide back into the pit. But, God never leaves those that He loves. And oh how He has proven His love for me.

As I think over these things I wonder why it is that I fall away. I wonder what would ever cause me to leave the one that loves my soul. The wicked one, who entices me to fall uses those areas of my personality that are easily moved. I must put myself into the hands of the only one who can overcome the evil one. Jesus, who conquered sin and death when He surrendered Himself for my sake. Oh how great is His love and His mercy.

My view today is one of light. The light of God's love. The light of God's mercy. And His never ending promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I pray that today - I can walk in the light of His love and to accept the gift of Mercy that has taken care of all of my need.

A Little Leaven

Mark 8:10-13 "And straightway he entered into a ship with his disciples, and came into the parts of Dalmanutha. 11 And the Pharisees came forth, and began to question with him, seeking of him a sign from heaven, tempting him. 12 And he sighed deeply in his spirit, and saith, Why doth this generation seek after a sign? verily I say unto you, There shall no sign be given unto this generation. 13 And he left them, and entering into the ship again departed to the other side."

I don't think until today that I ever noticed the phrase "And he sighed deeply in his spirit...". Jesus was frustrated by the questions and doubts of the Pharisees and also of his own disciples. Deep in his soul he was touched with the pain of rejection. And I found today that I have also caused Him the pain deep in his soul because I too have been like the Pharisees.

How easy it was to play for the wrong audience. I realize that I have sought the approval of those around me and of those that I love more than the approval of the "Lover of my Soul". I Corinthians 5:6 says "Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough?" I allowed myself to get caught up in pleasing the world around me. And it took me down.

As I sat in church today, I came to the point where I saw myself for who I am today - and who I long to become tomorrow. I have been a modern day Pharisee. Tomorrow I long to be a daughter of the King. May my focus be on living a life that is true to the Word of God and that I may be found well pleasing by my Father.

The Promise of the Rainbow

The Promise

How often I reflect back to the day that this picture was taken. It was my birthday, nearly 3 years ago. My father had just passed away 3 days before and on my birthday a beautiful rainbox graced the farm. It was like a reminder that Dad sent to us that God had indeed kept His promise.

When God first sent the sign of the rainbow it was meant to remind Noah that a promise had been made by God to all generations yet to come. The promise of "salvation" from a flood of the type Noah had experience. Each time the descendents of Noah saw this symbol in the sky, they too could rejoice in the miracle of God's promise.

The salvation that God promised to us through the blood of Christ is something that we look forward to in this life. We live redeemed here on earth, yet we still struggle with the sin that is a part of our lives and the world around us. Only when we see Him face to face and the promise is completely fulfilled will we truly understand the depth of his love and forgiveness.

Each day as I go through the challenges and frustrations of this life I look at this picture and others like it and remind myself that God is faithful. He does not give us more than what we can handle. He provides a way of escape for us. And He has promised that if we but lay our burdens down - He will faithfully take them up. I ask Him daily to give me the strength that I need to overcome the weakness that beats me down and to live a life that is a reminder to others of how great is the love of the Father.

Today a view from the chair is one of thankfulness. Thanks be to God for His abundant mercy, grace and love. Thanks be to God for forgiveness of sins and complete restitution because of the blood of His precious son. Thanks be to God for His patience and goodness that is new every day. I long for the day when I too can stand by my earthly father at my heavenly Father's throne.