Feeling Buffeted?

Yesterday as my husband and I sat looking out at the Atlantic Ocean the sea grass in front of us caught my eye. The wind was whipping it around yet it tenaciously held to the ground in which it was planted. The thought came to me of the word "buffet."

The sea grass is planted in an attempt to hold back the erosion of the beaches through the storms that come. It looks so very frail yet it seems to be capable of doing the task it was made for.

As I pondered this I thought about this verse from I Peter. In the King James Version the word "buffet" is used in place of "beaten" in the Living Bible, but the meaning is the same. Peter talks about how there is no credit for being patient when suffering comes for those things we have done in the flesh that bring us harm but when we do right and suffer for it and are patient - then God is pleased. It is hard for us at times to understand why this would be true.

In recent days several dear friends have been presented with some "storms" in their lives. Some of the winds that blew were illness and some were relational. I have witnessed the deep roots of their faith in God as they are buffeted about. Will they hold on with patience? Would I if given the same circumstances? It is only as we put our roots deeply into the faithfulness of our God can we hold on when we are beaten about by life's circumstances.

In my life there have been times when I have been buffeted about because of choices I made which were not pleasing to God. Yet, even in this I have seen the roots of my faith grow because God has shown such great grace and forgiveness toward me. He has given me much to be thankful for and has shown over and over again how wide and deep is His great love for me. It is in the recognition that He is faithful despite my unfaithfulness that growth occurred.  This growth, I trust will see me through the storms that will come in the days ahead.

We are not promised a life without storms. What we are promised is a loving Father who sees us through each storm when we allow our roots to grow deep in His love and to trust Him to see us though.  His grace is enough. Let us hold on with patience!

The Heavens Declare

Last week my husband and I had the privilege of camping up in one of the more rural counties north of where we live. To say I was in my element is an understatement. I am truly a country girl at heart. I love the sounds of crickets chirping, birds singing, little traffic and few people. Some might even find me to be a bit reclusive.

I gazed up at the sky so many times during that week. I saw bright sunshine with billowy clouds, I saw the deep, dark sky filled with twinkling stars overhead and the most majestic sunsets each night. All of these reminded me of the glory of God.

In Romans 1:20 it speaks of how from the earliest times men have seen the earth and sky and knew instinctively that God had made it all. We are without excuse when we look at all the grandeur of His creation. The birds sing His praise, the very rocks some day will shout out to His glory. How then can I not sing praise to Him when I gaze upon all the wonder of creation?

At times I can become quite melancholy, a season that I find myself in right now. I do not enjoy the thought of the coming of winter. Fall, while beautiful in its beginning is drab and lonely at its end. But, then I stop and look up! I look up into the beautiful sky and I see the promise of His coming. I see the glory of God shining through the sun, the moon and the stars! I hear His whisper in the breeze that causes the leaves to gently fall to the ground. And in all of this I can give praise. And perhaps, just perhaps a bit of the melancholy will be wiped away.

Metamorphosis

Over the past three weeks we have had the amazing privilege to watch a Monarch go from the caterpillar (larvae) through the chrysalis (pupa) stage to the emergent beautiful adult butterfly. Having this experience has brought so much to my mind of our lives here on earth - mine in particular.

This Monarch waited quite a long time to emerge out of the chrysalis, so long in fact that we began to wonder if the insect had died. Each day I would look at that beautiful emerald green chrysalis to see if there were any signs of change.  But day after day nothing - until this past Saturday. I looked through what now had become a translucent shell at the outline of what were the beautiful black and orange wings. Unfortunately, I had to leave for several hours and during that time this beautiful gem entered his habitat.  I watched him dry his wings patiently and after several hours - off he flew!  On to new adventures and the cycle of life.

I feel like I have been in a chrysalis for many years. Waiting to put off the old self, that selfish, proud and ofttimes unkind person who has spent way too many years looking for what brought me happiness and satisfaction. Maybe there have been family and friends who looked at me while I was in that chrysalis and wondered if I were dead inside.  Would I ever emerge from being a partner of all that was evil?

But God in His mercy has been prompting my heart to put off those rotten ways and have new attitudes, new thoughts. Thoughts of what is good, what is beautiful, what is true and right. My wings are still drying. I need to keep exercising them before I can fly on my own but I know that He is there to bring just the right breeze my way in the form of loving family and friends, words from the Scriptures that prompt me to right living and the gentle Spirit who continues to breathe life into this frail human.

And so I - like my beautiful butterfly am on to new adventures!

Tears in a Bottle

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the past.  Being a journaler for many years I went and pulled one from 20 years ago off the shelf.  That was a particularly trying time in my life where I found myself crying out to God over and over for relief from a situation of my own making.

All of those tears.  All of those unseen cries.  All of those moments when I questioned "why." They are all contained in His book.  Every tear that I cried is held in His bottle.  Tears of sadness, tears of anger, tears of relief, tears of sorrow, tears of joy....all of them collected in His bottle and written in His book.

Why does God care about these tears?  Why does He collect each one?  It is because He is a Father who cares about even the smallest detail of our lives.  He sees us when we are hurting and He grieves with us.  We wonder at times why He does not stop the pain.  We wonder why He does not bring an end to the discomfort.  We wonder why He does not remove the thing which is keeping us from walking in His path.  All of these things I have wondered about.  Sometimes I can honestly say I have shaken my fist in anger toward Him.  And yet, He continues to love me and to collect my tears.

My tears always seem to be right at the surface.  At times I have wished I could hold them back.  But, that is not the way I am wired.  I am just so thankful that God in His sovereignty knows the purpose behind all of the pain, all the wounds, all the heartache that we experience in this life.  Some day it will be clear to me.  But, for now I am just going to remember that when I am sad or hurting He is there just as He is when I am feeling happy and joyful.  He loves me with an everlasting love and He loves me enough to collect every tear that I have cried.

Teach Us to Number our Days

Recently my husband and I went on a picnic with our Wyoming friends, Jim and LuAnn. While enjoying the beauty of one of Pennsylvania's state parks, LuAnn went on a quest to find a Monarch caterpillar. We found two of them and brought them home to watch them go through the metamorphosis from caterpillar to the beautiful butterfly we enjoy. Sadly, one of the caterpillars did not survive but one of them is now in the lovely jade green chrysalis stage. Hopefully, in another few days a Monarch will emerge that I can share with my grandson, Oliver before we set it free.

As I have been watching this process unfold it has reminded me of the seasons of life that we go through. Some never get to see the completion of each season of life and some, like my grandma live long into the winter season of life. None of us know. Each day in the stage we are in is meant to be lived to its fullest because we do not know what the future holds for us.

As I was reading my Bible this morning I came across a passage that I long ago memorized. Psalm 90:12. "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Have I grown any wiser in this season of my life? Am I any kinder, any gentler, any more forgiving? I pray that I will be mindful of the days that God gives to me that I will first of all give Him the glory and honor that is due to Him and secondly that I will love my neighbor as I love myself. I pray that my heart will become wise and that I will use that wisdom to make better choices and decisions in whatever time God has ordained for me to live. And maybe at the end of life, I will emerge as beautiful as the Monarch with a beauty that comes from walking in the path of my Savior.