Seasons

There is likely no better season to reflect about change than fall.  During these three short months trees can go from glorious green, to the vibrant colors of yellow, orange or red, to barren.  In three short months.....

How like life. I have been reminded again this week of the seasons that we go through in our short span of time here on this earth.  We go through the exciting times of childhood, to the petulant times of teenagers, to the busyness of adulthood, to the quieter more reflective time of being an older adult.

I was recently listening to a sermon about the life of Paul when he was in prison.  In 2 Timothy he asked for his coat and his parchments.  I had read those verses over the years and never really thought much about it.  He was all alone in a cold, damp prison cell and what he asked for was a coat to warm him and his parchments to keep him busy.  Paul was likely very lonely because he was definitely a people-person. But, rather than wallowing in his season of loneliness he found two things that would help him manage.  He wanted to be warm and he wanted to be busy.

Loneliness is a season that hits all of us.  And it does not mean that we are not surrounded by people. Sometimes we can be the loneliest when we are right in the middle of all the hubbub of family life, work life and recreational life. We get this yearning in our heart to be understood for where we are in our lives and sometimes there is just no one who can fit that bill. Try as they might our loved ones cannot always help us overcome this season. So like Paul we need to find what will make us comfortable and what will keep us active and busy.

I find myself in this season right now. But, I am also thankful for it.  During this time I am finding that I am dwelling more and more on what is really important in life and worrying less and less about the things that are so fleeting and ultimately irrelevant. I am looking for ways to be busy with productive things that will help me to stay focused and also to be vigilant to try and help others who may be struggling with loneliness to feel cared for.  And I also look forward to a time when this season has passed.  I know that God never leaves me or forsakes me and that these times of loneliness are often meant to draw me closer to Him. How blessed I am that even in the loneliest of times I am never truly alone.

For what do I thirst?

Walking along the Allegheny River behind St. Bonaventure University on Friday night, my sister and I came up on three beautiful doe grazing in the golden high grass.  Their ears perked up when we came along but they were not afraid of us.  I guess seeing all the runners, walkers and bicyclists on the path each day makes them brave.

As I looked at them and then reflected on this picture that I took I was reminded of the beautiful verse in Psalm 42 where David compares his thirst for God to that of the deer that pants for water. David, just like the deer was intent on finding what would quench his thirst.  He continued to search no matter what the obstacle and no matter what deterrents others may have put in his way.  Just as the deer.  The deer feeds where the grasses are high and plentiful but never too far from the source of water that sustains their life.

Thinking about this I wondered what am I truly thirsty for?  What do I pursue to fulfill the longing in my heart?  What is it that actually satisfies my soul?  When I think of earthly pleasures I realize just how fleeting they are.  I can enjoy the company of my family, I can enjoy a lovely meal, I can drink a glass of refreshing water, I can view a magnificent sunset but within moments the pleasure is gone and I find myself searching again.

God's Word teaches that we can only find our satisfaction in Him alone.  He is to be the one we long for.  He is the only one that can meet our needs with finality.  He is the one that loves us unconditionally.  It is only as I thirst for Him and seek Him out that I can find the peace that has alluded me over the years.  Spending time reading His Word and getting spiritual nourishment from it, actually praying continually throughout the day to strengthen my relationship with Him and sharing with others who love Him are the waters that quench my thirst.  Each day is an opportunity to seek out this life-giving water.  May I be more and more like the deer that pants after the water, never satisfied with complacency. 

Some Trust In.....

Of late I have been thinking a lot about what I put my trust in.  Looking at this picture I see two items that over the years I have put a lot of trust in.  One is in the flag, which represents the country that I love and one is this red jeep, affectionately called "Little Red." Every time we go out for a ride in Little Red we expect her to fire right up, take us over rocky roads and bring us safely home.  I also have put my trust in the money that sits in the bank.  I believe or trust that the government will stand behind that money and that it will be worth something when I next go to pay a bill or purchase an item.

Then I think about the people that I have put my trust in. There have been parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends, teachers, pastors, co-workers that I have trusted over the years.  Some people have been trustworthy - others not so much. 

God's Word specifically says that putting our complete trust in anything other than Him is a very dangerous proposition.  I recently had a conversation with my husband about a couple of instances where I had trusted in friendship only to be burned by it.  He pointed out to me that my expectations of what makes a trusting relationship is not always the same expectation that the other individual had.  And because of that I have been hurt.  And I have also caused hurt.

There is only one relationship that is completely trustworthy.  That is the relationship that I have with my Father.  He knows and loves me with complete abandonment! In His grace I have assurance that no matter what He will be there to take care of my needs and to direct my steps. Even when I fail Him - He is still there.  He has never left my side or walked away in disgust, unfriended me on Facebook or refused to respond to correspondence.  No matter what!

The country I love could fail me, Little Red could break down on the highway and leave me abandoned, my money could all evaporate with the volatility of the markets. People can and have left me, either by choice or by death.  But, my God is there.  He will never leave me or forsake me.  In Him will I put my trust.  There is definite safety there!

Bent but not Broken

On my walks last week in Ocean City, NJ I passed this lovely tree on the grounds of the Ocean City Tabernacle.  At first I did not pay much attention to it but over the course of time it made me think about life when I saw it.

This tree represents a lot about my life. Look at how it started. Strong roots that went deep into the soil. Over the course of time those roots pushed up through the soil in search of the sunshine that is so prevalent at the shore. But then something happened. Something forced that limb to jut out to the right. Was it a storm or a series of storms? Was there a change in circumstances that forced the tree limb to go off to the side rather than to continue to grow straight and tall?  And then all of a sudden it seems that it adjusted itself and once again began to grow straight and true.

I thought about how this looks so much like my life.  I too had strong roots that went deep into the soil. Roots of a loving family that taught me so much about God and my need of a Savior. Roots that despite adversity brought nourishment that enriched me so that I could grow straight and tall, seeking the sonshine!

But then things happened.  Choices were made, compromises were made, complications set in. And all of a sudden life started to go sideways. And for many years that seemed to be the way that it was going to continue. I became very bent. Aimlessly growing; but, not growing in the right direction.

Yet through it all I never completely lost my faith. I continued to pray for the strength that I needed to make the adjustments necessary to grow in the right direction again. I just love this verse from Psalm 116 where it says that God bends down to listen! What a picture! He listened when I cried out in shame and desperation.  He listened when I railed at Him for not easily fixing my situation.  He listened when I softly cried out "I am done, please take control!" How blessed I am that He bent down and heard me. And for as long as I have breathe I will pray. He tenderly has gotten the "limb" aright and I am once again seeking the sonshine! Certainly, I am bent but I am not broken!