Pilot Me

 It seems that I have been in a grand funk for quite awhile.  Lately I have been struggling with where I am in life, what I need to be doing with the rest of my days, how I can be an encouragement to others when I feel discouraged myself and on and on it goes.  

Sure, I have a lot to be grateful for.  And I am.  I am grateful for my husband who puts up with all of my emotional ups and downs with great grace.  I am thankful for my family that even though I have disappointed them time and time again they still like to hang out with me.  I am thankful for my church and my brothers and sisters in Christ who challenge me to be better.  And I most of all am thankful for my Savior Who continues to offer to pilot me through all of life's ebbs and flows.

I came across this mirror with the inscription on it "Jesus Savior, Pilot Me" while I was cleaning out a drawer in our spare room.  It was my mom's.  I can even remember where she had it.  It was on the bookshelf that was above her desk in the den.  It was there that she poured over the finances of our little family.  It was there where she often wondered where the money was going to come from to pay the bills on the little farm dad wanted to have.  It was there that she wrote out checks for college tuition, cars, insurance and first and foremost the tithe.  It was there where she wept and prayed over the many hurts of her family and friends. It was there where I am sure she prayed, "Jesus Savior, Pilot Me."  And I believe He did!

I have been praying a lot lately that God would help me to learn how to truly once and for all forgive myself for the things that I have done over the course of life that brought pain to many.  I have been praying over Psalm 19:12-13 "How can I know all the sins lurking in my  heart?  Cleanse me from these hidden faults.  Keep your servant from deliberate sins! Don't let them control me.  Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin."  In other words - "Jesus Savior, Pilot Me!"  I know that by His grace I have been forgiven - I just need to claim that victory for myself.  

It is not by chance I came across this today.  I look at it as an answer to the prayer I have been praying.  In the words of Carrie Underwood "Jesus, Take the Wheel!"