More Questions than Answers

Today I feel filled with questions. And not a whole lot of answers. Thoughts come to my mind and I wonder where they are coming from. Are these thoughts from God or are they thoughts from someone else? Are they thoughts that should be shared or are they thoughts better kept to myself. Oh how I cry out for the wisdom of God to truly know.

Whoever said that walking the Christian life was easy must never have really walked it in earnest for I have seen what that looks like and it is anything but easy. I have experienced one who searches so deeply for the truth of who God is and what He has in mind and the walk is no where near easy. It is hard and full of sacrifice and trial. And yet, there is an abiding joy in the journey. Not a giddy joy but a quiet joy and one that stirs within me a desire to know this walk in a deeper more intimate way.

People cannot know or understand the sincerity with which a sister or brother in Christ walk their journey. They can only appreciate (or condemn) what they see on the outside. Their judgements may be made based on distortions of the truth and sometimes based upon the fear that they cannot explain through theology what someone else has experienced or is going through. This is a lesson that I am learning though my own journey and also by watching and questioning the journey of others. God in His Sovereign design has brought me to this place. A place of desire to go deeper, to know Him more fully and to trust in His works - even when there are more questions than answers.

It is at times frightening to follow hard after God. What might He call me to? What might He require of me? Will I be up to the task? Will I fall? What if no one goes with me, will I still follow? So many questions and no answers but one. Obedience. That is the call that I have witnessed in recent days. I have seen obedience in action. I have watched as it has carved its niche in the life of a dear friend. I have seen its mark of loyalty in the life of a fellow-traveler. All of this I have seen and wonder. How Lord? How can all of this be? And yet I know. It is because of obedience and trust in You.

My heart longs for this obedient life. And I pray for the one who has demonstrated this to me. I pray for continued strength for this journey and for the wisdom to hear and to respond as faithfully as one can. May the Lord continue to shower you with "diamonds" and with His divine voice in the shadows of the night. And to your constant and faithful friend, I pray for peace in the journey and the tenacity to carry our friend that last leg up the mountain.

"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.”- James 3:17-18