There are times where I just wish God would write in big, bold letters across the sky which way He intends me to go. Or perhaps an email sent with high importance. Or how about a special angel that steps in right at the point of decision - grabs my hand and leads me down the right path. But, it does not seem that He works that way. It seems that He wants me to trust that He has given me the direction and then that I walk in that way.
Recently, I have been struggling with a decision that impacts my work life. Through circumstances that are unimportant now I was convinced that I needed to seek out new employment. A casual comment by a friend led me to the Internet and the beginning of a job search. As each phase of the process unfolded I would petition the Lord for direction. If it were to be "stay where you are" then the door would close. If it were to be "move on" then the doors would continue to open. At each successive step the answer was "move on".
Now though as the time becomes closer to when I must make known my intention I have begun to waffle. Back and forth. Should I stay, should I go. I have talked to more people than I can count about the decision and with each counselor came a different perspective and I became more and more confused.
Today though I had opportunity to just draw near to the Lord and talk to Him. I sang my praises to Him and lifted my concerns up to Him. Finally, it came to me. "Carol, I have told you but, you continue to doubt that you have heard Me." That was the message. Simply put. "Do you trust Me?" Wow - was it really Him or was I just thinking it was. No, it really was Him. He reminded me of each step in this process. He reminded me of each request that I had made of Him for confirmation. And so I can come with confidence to the point of decision and know which way the Lord has directed my path.
And so, I press on. New challenges, new people, new perspective. The old will stand as a memorial of what was. Just as stones of remembrance were used in the Old Testament to signify when God answered prayers I will put this day down as a stone of remembrance. God has shown me that He does speak to me. He only asks me now if I will trust that I heard His voice.
Posts
1 comment:
Carol--do you realize that you are having the courage to live out the work of the Spirit in you without apology and qualification? I have this huge smile on my face after reading this post and your response to my blog. You're finally leaving your fear behind and letting this amazingly enriched and wise woman bless the world with the beauty of the Spirit inside of her. You have been listening to the voice of Your Shepherd. And He is teaching you to trust Him. I am so blessed by what you teach me, you speak from a wealth of experience. I am blessed by your journey. It reaffirms my faith. I am blessed by your friendship--because I think some people probably read what you write on my blog and think--HA! If Carol only knew her story. And I smile and I think--HA! She does. :-)
Love you friend.
Post a Comment