Why Worry?

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? Matthew 6:27

Worrying has been a family tradition for as long as I can remember. My mom at age 85 has mastered the science. My son at age 23 seems well on his way and I at 51 have finally declared - ENOUGH!

For all the worrying I have done in my life what has it really gained me? I mean did the worrying actually change the outcome? Did it make things better or did it just compound the issue? Is worrying more about control than anything else? I think that is exactly what it is.

In Matthew Jesus challenged his followers and us by extension that we by our worrying cannot add one hour to our lives. I think that makes us angry. I think that we choose to worry because we believe we know better than God. And we sense by our worrying that somehow we can change or impact the outcome. Foolish, silly people we are. How small and insignifcant our desire to control. How unnecessary the hours of sleepless nights thinking about what we could have done differently or should have said differently. How crazy it is to spend time trying to position ourselves in such a way that we would change the outcome. Who are we trying to kid? God is in control. He allows us choices - but ultimately - He knows.

One day ago I saw my daughter off from the train station in Harrisburg as she made her way to New York City. What could I do? I could choose to worry her the whole way there - wondering if she would make the flight from JFK - wondering if she would get to London - wondering - wondering - wondering. But, instead, this time I choose to kiss her goodbye (with tears running down my cheeks!) and commend her into God's hands. There was nothing more I could do. And you know what - I felt FREE!!!!

I am choosing to believe that God has Claire's ultimate good in mind. I am choosing to believe that He will see her through this time away and will give her a renewed love for family and I prayerfully ask that she will find her way back to God. Ultimately, though - all of the choices are up to her. I can only be responsible for my part. My part is to pray for her, love her from a distance and continue to learn how to walk in purity and humilty with my God.

Worrying does no good. It changes nothing. It only adds to the pile of wasted time and energy that eeks away all the vitality of life. Maybe there is hope that the family tradition can stop with me. I believe that it can. I believe that God is teaching me that by faith I can walk. He knows my heart and the footsteps that I will take. And so in faith I will trust. And in faith I will give Him all of my worries. Because I am tired of carrying them and I am tired of being responsible! And I finally realize - He never asked me to be.